36 ABY It was cold. Dark. Graham wasn’t sure where they’d taken him but he felt as dead as he’d heard them proclaim. It was a panicked check though. He’d lost so much blood that kark, he barely felt alive but his breath still came. Withering and rattling, shallow. Weak.
Yet he was alive.
It took a long time for him to move, to wrap a bacta sodden bandage they’d left nearby on his wound. It had partially dried out due to the decision it wasn’t worth the use but it would do. Everything kept spinning but one decision stood strong amongst the nausea and pain. This was it. He’d almost died in many ways over the last 24 years of his life and this time it was from someone Cole had insisted he could trust. There was no safety here. There never had been. It had driven Cole to paranoia verging on insanity at times, his father was no better. He wasn’t sure he’d be happy without the thrill of the fight but he’d find it elsewhere dammit.
It had to be better than this.
When the morning came to put Graham’s corpse in the coffin, Trevor Farrow was grateful he’d chosen to do it alone. If this was the extent his son would go to, then so be it. He’d still grieve but he didn’t have it in his heart to twist and turn and explain why this had happened.
An empty coffin was buried and life moved on for the Farrow Compound, unaware that Graham was systems away and healing. A new path is often the hardest one to step onto, unpredictable and impervious to looking ahead as they were, but he was ready.
It was going to get better.
41 ABY 3 Days after Life Day
He’d spent the last week finding a way into Dajorra. Kark it was a difficult system to enter but he was finally here. Wyndell had unsurprisingly been difficult to find but on Selen, amidst the capital of what should be the Clan Arcona, he’d heard a name he hadn’t come across for a long time.
Four sharp knocks came at Evelyn Wyvern’s door, Graham Farrow stood wearily on the other side.
Evelyn hissed as the sharp prick of the sewing needle jabbed into her thumb. The knocked startled her. She furrowed her brows and started to get up, setting aside the article of clothing she was working on and turned down the music. Who… would come here? Jax and Kob would always text, along with Minnie and Foxen. Her coworkers know her home was off-limits to them. So who would- can’t be the Carolers. Life Day ended three days ago.
Cautiously, she made her way to the door and reached to grab her knife. If it was a friend, they would understand especially for dropping by unannounced. With a small click of the sheath removal, she slipped her right hand to behind her as she opened the door with her left hand and her breath caught for a moment.
He was older, his hair grew out and was pinned back. His eyes seemed a bit more wearily than what she remembered. A few more scars. But this was him. It was really him.
No.
He was dead.
Her eyes narrowed at him. Immediately, she thought of the Clawdites, shape-shifting species. Her body slide back and she was in form, her knife’s spine rested against her arm and she was ready to fight.
“Graham has been dead for years. State your business.” She was going to get intel and if this shcutta thinks they could run, she can too.
“Yeah I should have expected that.” Graham’s eyes focussed on the knife before coming back up to Evelyn’s face. “Come on Misty, why would anyone know my mug would matter to you?”
He raised his hands, holding them palm out and smiling ever so slightly. Tired, nervous but still ever so confident. There wasn’t fear in his form, more so attempting to placate a frightened creature than to intimidate or force to back off.
Graham couldn’t help but wonder a mountain of questions. How had she ended up here? Was it a coincidence? Had she been ok? Was Myla okay? Did Myla know anything or had she kept to their pact? How much did she know about.. anything really? Did anyone she recognise from days gone by pass through?
Misty.
Evelyn visibly recoiled. There was no way anyone could’ve known that. She had used Misty as a way for undercover by accident… but there was no witnesses. Usually, the ones who once called her Misty were dead or systems away. Her arm lowered but not relaxed. She took a step back. Her brows furrowed.
“They-” She started and looked to him in bewilderment. Was… was it really Graham?
“They told me you were killed,” Evelyn whispered.
She doesn’t let her guard down but, “You can come in.” She made a few steps into the living room and was unable to sit down. She was still holding her knife. Why was he here? Why now? Why her? Wasn’t he suppose to be dead? Was Myla okay?
Her expression shifted from confusion to pure fear, “Is Myla okay?” What if he had been hiding and actually knows where Myla was and something had happened?
“Wh- Is she? You were the one with connections with her?!”
He was surprised that she knew he was supposed to be dead and wanted to focus on that but that question of all of them, she was the one who was supposed to know that! Graham did step into the apartment, closing the door behind himself.
“I stayed out! It was our agreement! I mean they have been sending pictures of her every six months but did you really think I had the heart to look at them? I was going to tell Aketa and maybe we could look at them together but-” She stopped herself. She was going on a rant to a complete stranger. Sure, Graham was amazing that night and helped her through that painful day but-
“I assumed that you may had been watching her since you were supposed to be dead for five years, Graham.”
“I didn’t even know where she was, Evelyn.” Graham snapped but stepped away from the door, keeping space between them but relaxing somewhat. Kind of.
“And- I know. This- Kark.” He sighed, “If I’d have gotten caught seeking her out- Well I couldn’t, okay?”
He just wished he’d gotten a chance to say goodbye to someone before they were all gone. A pained expression crossed his face but it was quickly stomped down. “I’ve known about Dajorra for a long time, your name was just the first one I heard here that I knew.”
Evelyn glared at him when he snapped at her. “It is not that-” Evelyn sharply exhaled. She ended up sitting down on the couch and set the knife on the end table. She gestured for him to sit down either at the chair or the couch.
Her head shot up to look at him properly. He… found her name and came here? To see her?
“Oh,” Evelyn whispered but her brows stayed furrowed.
“Wait. So Ms. Lottson does not know you are alive? What about Mr. Far- Cole?”
“Cole’s alive?”
Graham had been in the process of sitting into the chair when she spoke and it may have been a good thing. His entire form sagged, relief and pain and sadness and grief flooding through him. Cole was alive. Fuck he was actually still alive. He leant an arm on his knee, pressing his face into his hand and letting out a strained chuckle. It was all he could manage beyond the initial shocked outburst.
His hand hid it but tears shimmered in his eyes, being heavily blinked back so when it came time to raise his head he’d appear at least mostly put together. Some habits died hard.
Evelyn watched him and became quiet.
“He is,” she softly confirmed. She wanted to give him a few minutes. Part of her wanted to get up and give him a … hug? Hold his hand?
“Do… you want a drink? I have water, some juice, vodka, and wine.” Evelyn offered and paused for a moment before adding, “I can text Cole. Ask him to come over. I warn you though, I got a bit… curt with him and he may not like me.”
“Water, would be nice.” Graham responded initially before laughing again, more genuine this time. “Of course he doesn’t. Please… do. I don’t- Well. I didn’t… The last I heard he died with everyone else.”
He wanted to get up and follow her to kitchen but forced himself to stay sat. Best to not. No.
Graham ran his thumb across one of the newer scars, one that carved a line up the side of his neck. “Is he.. okay? Other than not liking you?”
Evelyn nodded and got up from the couch and made her way to the kitchen. The floor plan was open. She started to think of what she could even say to get Cole to come here.
Evelyn glanced up to look at him and frowned as he was messing with a scar. Gone for five years, that scar was not five years old. What was he getting himself into?
“He… seemed fine to me. I do not-” She stopped with a thoughtful hum before continuing, “I have seen him often with the same woman. I am not sure of their story- Graham, I barely know your brother.” Evelyn exhaled as she arrived back and handed him a glass of water for him to take. He really is Graham. He’s really alive.
Emotions was hitting her but she was good at hiding it. Once he took the glass, she would sit back down and start looking for Cole’s comlink on her datapad.
We need to talk in private. She started. She didn’t know if Graham wanted this to be public or not but if it was her… yes. She would want it to be private.
Are you able to come to my house? She left him the address.
“What have you been up to in the last five years then?” Evelyn asked as she looked back over to Graham after she sent the message.
He didn’t hesistate to take it, taking a sip before resting the glass on his knee. Graham watched as she typed, trying to not do so overtly but struggling frankly. Cole was on the other end of that transmission and he’d been seen with the same woman a few times. Kriff had he actually… No. Stop.
Slow.
Hazel eyes cast over Evelyn, picking up on the way she was holding herself. It was tense. That wasn’t exactly surprising.
“Pit fighting mostly. Best way to make money, to travel. I..” Graham trailed off, avoiding her eye and turning his gaze down toward the water. He’d run away and they’d all died without him there to protect them. Not all, he knew that now but Cole… Cole would have thought he was alone. Guilt was sharp, painful. A problem for later. “I’ve been a bit of everywhere, tried a lot of stuff. I haven’t done anything important, if that was what you wanted to hear.”
He looked up again though and it wasn’t just that tension, that pain. Grief. Among the confusion she seemed to actually… be interested. It was strange.
Evelyn set aside the datapad. She didn’t know how long he would take to respond. Or if he would. It was three days after Life Day after all.
She glanced over to the fireplace at the mention of pit fighting. Making money. Making ends meet. Evelyn remembered how that felt. That was where she was when she first met Graham. And it’s where he was now. She didn’t have to go that extreme however.
Emerald hues glanced back over to Graham, “If Cole does not respond tonight, we can come up with something. I know where he usually works. As for the time being… I have a guest room you can stay at. Save a bit of your money. I remember making ends meet once,” she explained as she reached over and took a sip of wine from the glass that had been sitting there and frowned slightly. It had gotten rather flat. Oh well. She took another sip.
Graham shook his head, “I can’t ask that of you, I’m doing fine. Really. The pits work out for me really, plays into my strengths.” Before Evelyn could respond, her comm dinged. Graham felt his mouth dry, as if it was actually confirmed that Cole was really there. Almost.
Tomorrow morning, on Ol'Val. Why?
It was shorter by Cole’s usual standards for responses but also more prompt than usual.
Graham watched her grab and read it with a frown, concerned. Worried, frankly.
Evelyn gave Graham a sharp look, “I insist.”
When the datapad did go off, she glanced and sighed. So it was going to be a bit of a trip. That was fine. She could take Graham.
“He asked why. How am I even suppose to respond to that? And we will meet him elsewhere. Tomorrow morning.”
“I.. don’t know what to tell you. What to say, that is.” Graham bit the inside of his cheek. If she was going to insist then kark it, what else was there to do? “If you say something vague he won’t let it go. Maybe just that.. you have someone he needs to talk to here? I dunno.”
He ran a hand down his face, “Why elsewhere? Or.. where at least.”
Evelyn paused for a moment, recalling the woman he had been seen hanging out with.
“The woman I mentioned earlier, she works at Port Ol'Val and if he still works for Voidbreaker II that is where it was docked. Usually. That is where we are going tomorrow.”
Where on Port Ol'Val? And it is about Graham. Needs to be private.
“Oh.” Graham didn’t really know what to say.
It was quiet for a minute again, a painfully long one before the pad dinged.
Your house is acceptable. I can make it there on the presumption there will be no vague obscurities if I have questions.
Evelyn’s jaw tensed for a moment.
That is fine.
She put her away her datapad. “He will be coming here instead. Under the understanding there will be no vague obscurities if he had any questions.”
There was a pause before, “I did not know you were dead until a few months ago. I was… going to see if I could find you, if Trevor had passed by then, if you wanted to-” Evelyn stopped. She gave him a sad smile and shook her head.
“No. It was silly.”
“I.. wanted to find Myla. You. Ran out of leads that were even vaguely easy to follow and I didn’t have the time. Wouldn’t have been safe either, for either of you or me.” Graham sighed. “I nearly was. Dead, that is.”
He didn’t know how to continue on. It felt wrong to tell her everything, as he had been so prepared to do, when Cole would be here tomorrow. Kark. His little brother would be here and he’d be- Kriff he was going to be so angry. Would he react like Evelyn?
…How paranoid had he gotten in the last 5 years?
Graham’s expression darkened as the moments passed by.
Evelyn watched his expression darken.
“Is it safe now?” Evelyn was wondering about that considering the compound was… gone and Trevor was killed on the compound. Evelyn took in a deep breath and decided to finish what she was going to say. Maybe that could help him get his mind off of some things.
“I was going to see if I could find you and ask.. if you wanted to look at the pictures of Myla with me. I did not have the heart to do it by myself.”
“I don’t know if its safe.. is there anyone else here?” Graham questioned, pulled out of his thoughts and looking back to Evelyn once more.
“I’ll look, but.. Well. Kark. Today?” It made him nervous for some reason.
“No. Just Cole survived- well. Now you.”
Evelyn shook her head and laughed softly, “Kark, no. I am not ready- I mean if you want- but-” Evelyn grimaced and just stopped talking.
“Maybe.. let’s just. Talk. Or not. Calm down either way. I’m here now and not going anywhere this time.”
He wouldn’t have said that before finding out about Cole. It would have been too strong of a promise to make but now he knew? No. He had to make it up to Cole somehow. Now it was safe to.
They were both free, he just hoped that Cole had realised it.
“Id love to see the photos, just.. not right now.”
“Calm down?” Evelyn remarked as she glanced back to the fireplace and realized it was dying.
‘Not going anywhere this time.’ She subconsciously relaxed her shoulders when she heard him say those words.
She got up to add more wood to the fireplace. For some reason, the argument of gas fireplace and wood fireplace she had with Aketa popped into her head. She shook it away. After feeding the wood to the fire, she went back to the kitchen and started to wash her hands. She turned off the water and glanced over to Graham.
“Why me?” Evelyn started. Talking might help some things. She grabbed a clean towel and started to dry her hands. Once she neatly folded the towel, she went back to the living room.
“I mean… you said you wanted to find Myla and me. I get finding her, but me?” Evelyn asked, slightly confused. Then again she did wanted to find him but she told him her reason.
“Well I didn’t know where she was for one. You do.” Graham answered slowly, mulling his words over carefully as he did. “Like I said, I heard your name when scoping out the area first. Or.. yours was the first one I knew at least. Reckoned if anyone would know what was up, probably would be you if you were all the way out here. Ain’t exactly easy to get here.” He chuckled. While Evelyn had milled around hed finished the water, crossing over to the kitchen to place the glass beside the sink. “I’m sorry. For the shock. There just wasn’t any other way that wasn’t kriffed up or just.. not coming.”
“Right.” Evelyn whispered. He did say that. Was she starting to slip? She was normally much more straight forward thinking than that. No. Control. She needed to have control. Evelyn watched him and realized what he was going to do. She grasped her wine glass and finished it up.
“I got it.” She gently took his glass and started to clean the both of them when she got to the sink.
Her head slightly shook at his apology, “No- I mean yes it was a shock, still is, but-” She stopped cleaning the glass for a moment to look at Graham.
“I am glad you are actually alive.” She looked back to the glasses and finished cleaning as well drying them. Once she put them away, she glanced over to the clock. Has he eaten? Should she be concerned about that? He was a guest. Aketa was so much better at this than she was.
It also doesn’t help that he’s not just a guest to her. She turned to face him.
“Are you hungry? And you are staying the night.” He never answered her when she insisted he was staying so she’ll just go ahead and lay it out for him. After he informed her that it wasn’t easy to get here… how long had he been looking for her? For Myla.
Five years. And he didn’t give up. Her expression softened at the realization.
She wouldn’t either.
He remained in place beside the counter, taking the minute of her cleaning to look around. There wasn’t much going on, this place was sanitised, bar a smell very reminiscent of her from when they’d… well. There were pictures. A Chiss woman. Probably the Aketa she mentioned.
Evelyn had gotten married. There were other pictures too of her with pilots. Other pilots, right.
She dragged him from those observations as she continued talking. Glad he was alive. Hungry. Insistence on him staying.
His expression saddened but Graham nodded, “Thank you, it.. makes it easier. I ate already, earlier. And, well, thank you for caring that I’m alive. I knew some would but I didn’t really.. I wasn’t sure.” He rubbed the back of his neck, the part bare with how his hair was pinned back. A few strays fell forward anyway at the shift, framing his face. “Not thst it would have changed anything. I kinda thought you’d have family by now though.. im sorry. That you lost some of it.” His eyes cast toward the pictures on the mantel. “It wasn’t worth the risk.”
“She wanted a family. I spent our entire relationship denying her of it.” Evelyn looked away. She still remembered the day she finally told Aketa that she didn’t want kids after years of maybes. She picked up the clean damp rag she used to do the dishes and started to wipe the already clean countertop.
Telling Aketa she didn’t want kids was a decision she regretted. Would she even be a good mother if she can’t even be a good spouse? Maybe something could been worked out? Her heart hurts. She wanted to go back in time. Give Aketa what she wanted. Maybe Evelyn had some thing buried inside that would help her be a mother. A decent mother, perhaps.
But she can’t go back in time.
Evelyn looked back over to Graham with slight regret on her face. Her eyes darted down his body as she grimaced and fought the urge to start vacuuming.
“Will you please take off your boots and set them by the door? Also, you can set the backpack down.” She gestured to one of the bar stools by the island.
“And we are military. We do not exactly have long lives.” Evelyn pointed out as she finished wiping the counter down.
He didn’t know what to say, and was almost grateful for the shift to actually dropping some of what he was carrying.
“You weren’t military back then.” Graham replied, placing his back pack down before starting to unlace his boots. They were well worn in, not quite falling apart yet. They were dumped beside the door and he crossed back over. “We were closer to it than that. And.. yeah. I almost did die. Younger than most but not the oldest out of ones I’ve heard of dying out there.”
Evelyn finished up at the kitchen and frowned. Something. She needed something to do.
That’s was when she heard Graham. Emerald hues glanced towards his hazel ones, “What happened?” No one really talked to her about that day, not that she can blame them but the fact that Mr. Farrow and Ms. Lottson was certain he was dead, how did he live?
“Can we talk about it tomorrow? Cole is.. going to ask questions. The same ones. Its.. probably easier for everyone if its not repeats.” Graham leaned on the counter, frowning lightly. He leaned forward, arms crossed so his hands rested at the opposing elbow. “I’ll.. answer anything really pressing but.. yeah.”
Evelyn nodded. “Yes. Of course.” She reached out and gently brushed the strands that got free earlier and tucked it behind his ear and then looked around.
“The hallway,” she started, looking at it. “First door on the left is the bathroom. You can shower if you wish. There are some toiletry supplies under the sink, you can use those. The door on the right would be the guest room. Yours. Extra blankets and pillows are in the closet.”
She stopped for a moment. What else did Aketa used to say to guests?
“If you happen to get hungry or thirsty, help yourself. If you need anything, my room is at the end of the hallway,” Evelyn added as she made her way back to the couch and grabbed the article of clothing she was working on before Graham had arrived.
She gave him the choice to do whatever he wants. Maybe some quiet time and a place for him to hopefully, unwind, can help him prepare for tomorrow.
Graham had to resist pulling away at her touch. It was odd, intimate even. What was he supposed to think of that?
“Right. Thank you.” He stood there for a moment, unsure of what action to take before scooping his back pack up once more and heading into the guest room, looking around and placing it at the end of the bed before stripping his jacket off. A shower would be great. He crossed over, hesistating at the bathroom door.
It was a short moment, wondering if there even was anything extra to say before deciding no… best not. It had been a long day. No need to make it longer. Graham was in the shower within a few minutes, glad to be under hot water. It wasn’t necessarily a luxury but it wasn’t something he got to enjoy all of the time anymore. It was nicer than whatever hotel he’d have ended up in.
Evelyn heard the water running. That was good. To get comfortable and to have room, she leaned against the arm of the couch and her hip was up against it, her legs were on it’s side. She continued to work on the quilt. Evelyn frowned at the threads. She was.. messing up. Maybe she had too much in her mind right now. With a weary sigh, she held the materials instead and watched the fireplace for a bit in attempt to clear her busy thoughts.
The cackling of the fireplace and the dimness of the living room had lull her to sleep.
It was resfreshing. Calming even. But, conscious that water did actually have costs in normal housing now, he turned the tap off before too long passed. It was enough to clear the nerves of seeing a familiar face for the first time in five years. He’d made friends in those years but to see someone he knew… It was different.
Graham finished up, pulling a pair of loose pants out and stepping out of the bathroom, turning the extractor on before stepping outside and closing the door behind him, his clothes held ruffled up in a bundle against his chest. He dumped them onto the end of the guest bed to sort in a minute, leaving the room for another glass of water but stopping upon noticing Evelyn laid awkwardly to the side, knitting project loose in her hands. Should he wake her?
Probably. That was gonna be an awful crick in her neck if she slept like that for more than an hour.
The Human crossed over, getting to where he’d be visible but not fully taking up her vision before gently shaking her shoulder.
“Hey..”
Evelyn inhaled as she stirred and looked to Graham in confusion for a second. There was a bit of a pause.
Right.
It wasn’t a dream.
She laughed softly. “Sorry…” Evelyn straightened up and looked around for the time. It wasn’t… for long. He must had just got out of shower.
“Did you need something?” Evelyn started to fold the quilt carefully and put away the sewing needle into it’s little container with the others. Then she turned to look at him.
Properly.
“Kark, Graham.” Her eyes scanned at the deep one on his torso and she looked up, to the fresh one at the neck. She paused for a moment and then, “You did say you are staying on Selen… right? You are not going anywhere? No more pit fighting or… whatever the kist happened?”
Graham moved back once she was awake, straightening up.
“No I just-”
She swore and he laughed a little at the reaction. But the amusement quickly dimmed in the far more vibrant light of her concern. Her eyes landed on his neck and his hand subconsciously reaching up to the mark.
“As long as Wyndell can sort out whatever deal we made, I should be sticking around. It was legal pit fighting. None of these really.. stuck around long. Just didn’t want to waste credits on bacta when I didn’t need to.” Graham shrugged, “It’s- I am fine, Evelyn. Only one that looks bad wasn’t kist to do with the pits.”
“Ah. Mr. Tyris. Legal or not, I do not think you should be doing it anymore..” Evelyn brought up. There was jobs oppitunities everywhere and she could help Graham get back on his feet.
He was there for her on one of her most difficult days. While they weren’t close or even friends, there was a small connection. All because of Myla.
Evelyn got up and looked up to him. “Let me see it.” She waited for his hand to be removed.
“They’re just nicks and scratches. Wouldn’t even be there if I’d have used Bacta.” Graham sighed, but leaned down a bit so she could see his neck. “Not that one. That did have bacta on it but, well, like I said. Wasn’t pit fighting when this happened.”
He was hesistant to shift careers. Pit fighting was easy, constant. There was the thrill of the fight but a safety net. It was ever moving but steady in that too. Just cause he had some scars, well that wasn’t a reason to just quit. But then who knew what the days coming would bring. Coming here would in theory give him a place to live, stay and serve without being constantly at risk like when he was at home but without the constraints either, but it was a theory at best.
Evelyn looked it over and frowned.
“I was not thinking of healing. Was thinking more on the scar. I had been in military all these years and not one scar, I am a bit…” Obessive.
She shook her head, “What I am trying to say is that I have some stuff that helps heals the scars well. Yours is a bit… fresh but can have it somewhat faded if you want it.”
Then she paused for a moment before adding, “Then.. what happened if not pit fighting?”
“Oh.” Graham hummed, straightening up again and considering it before shrugging. “Why not?”
He liked the look of scars but this one was.. concerning he had to admit. It couldn’t hurt at least and Evelyn might worry a little less if he accepted it. Maybe.
“Some karker tried to mug me. I didn’t see the knife until, well.” The Farrow gestured to the scar. “I moved enough it didn’t kill me and then caved his karking skull in. Hutt space, so they let me go considering a whole harbours worth of folk saw it. I paid for the bacta that time, funnily enough.”
Evelyn cocked her head towards the hallway and started to walk there.
She busted out laughing out of the blue and then covered her mouth as she was in a fit of giggles, she had to stop walking for a bit.
“I am sor-” She laughed softly and tried to be serious. It took a bit longer. But she managed to her room and opened the door. It was a basic room. The bed well made. Not a wrinkle. The only odd thing would be usually master bedrooms have two doors, this one has three.
“I had been to Hutt Space, many times and you are no where near the usual target I would choose to mug. They must not be thinking clearly. Or desperate.”
She opened one of the doors to the bathroom and started to rummage through the tubs of bacta, lotions, and other creams.
Graham grinned a bit at her laugh. It was a pretty noise but he kept that to himself for now.
“Don’t be sorry, I was shocked too. Some little lanky prick. Had a mask on and everything. He sounded real brave till I caught his arm.” He snorted, looking toward the third door. Odd. Bed was right there, bathroom was here. There were cupboards… He looked curiously at it while she rummaged for creams. “Might’ve been trying to prove himself, kids used to do that when they joined us at first ‘till they realised we just think that kist is stupid and that we will leave them to their own enemies.”
Evelyn found the cream. She turned to face him and gave him a small smile as she looked up to him. It felt weird to smile again. Even her cheeks were aching a bit.
“Do you… miss being there? At the compound I mean.” Evelyn asked, her voice soft and she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to even ask. She quickly changed the topic in case he didn’t want to. If he does, he can always add it after.
“Three times a day should do it. Like I said, it had been pretty healed up but… it will be more faded with than without. Want … me to put it on for you?” Evelyn asked. She didn’t know why she even asked, it just felt natural to help him out.
His attention was drawn back to her when she started talking again.
Three times a day. Right. She used it to move on quickly from what she asked and Graham didn’t mind the shift. He didn’t know, frankly. It was a complicated matter that he should have thought more about but… what if he regretted it?
“I.. should have it. Just a layer all over right?” He held his hand out for the tub, unsure all of a sudden. Should he have accepted the help?
“Yes.” Evelyn placed the tub on his hand and realized the predicament they were in. He was… closer than she had paid attention to. It brought back memories. Her tanned cheeks started to feel warm.
“Anything else?” She was grasping to change the topic and hope he didn’t notice.
“What’s that door?” Graham asked, shifting aside so she could for one, look, and two get out of the bathroom so he could go in and apply the cream. It was odd to have another door. A full one. Espeically when her closet space was clearly out here. It was probably just more clothing but… Well. It just seemed odd.
He opened the tub after, smelling it curiously. Did she use the same scent for everything?
The tub would smell like a normal basic lotion.
Her face and her ears felt hot when Graham asked about the other door. She froze. Her eyes were wide and she looked like an orbak caught in speeder headlights.
“It- I- Well- It-” She was struggling to get words out. She does it for a living. Her and Aketa was very involved. Why was this so hard to say it to him?
“A minute.” She finally said as she used the moment to gather her bearings.
“The… That first night when we were together, I got pretty heavily involved in things like that. There are some things in there that…” She couldn’t finish it, hoping that he understood.
A grin crossed his face and he looked at her through the mirror with a wide grin.
“And here I was wondering why you remembered me so well.” It was a joke, mostly. Other than being there for Myla’s birth, they hadn’t exactly done together outside of that night. “Damn Misty.”
And it got hotter in here. She could’ve sworn her shoulders now feel hot.
“Really?” She muttered under her breath, almost sounding exasperated. But she returned the smile, she liked that grin.
“And give yourself some credit, that first night was-” She stopped herself before shaking her head. There was no need to bring back those memories if she can’t have them again. She turned to face him.
“Are you done?” Evelyn placed her hand on her hip, her lips curved in a small smile.
“Right right.” Graham laughed, focussing back on the scar and carefully applying a thin layer of the oinment to the scar. It was cool but quickly warmed and sank into the skin. He recapped it, placing it back on the counter for now before turning and leaning back against it.
“Now I am. And I wasn’t I saying I didn’t perform well. Well, quite the opposite if I’d have this long of an effect on you.”
It was easy to tease her again. Though there was a shift to things, maybe because for once he was in no position to threaten her. There wasn’t any issues between them, just an even playing field to settle onto. It was nice.
Evelyn watched him put on the cream. Her mind was with mixed emotions. It… was so nice to have him here. She doesn’t get why but it was, almost a perfect Life Day wish. Ironically, three days after.
Someone to laugh with again. Someone to talk with. Her home had been empty all those years, she didn’t realize how much she missed having a presence.
And how lucky she was it was Graham’s, out of all the others. Not a complete stranger but a small bit of friend.
And there’s always that weird bond she felt she’ll always have with him. Both made difficult choice for Myla.
And honestly, best choice for her too.
Kark it.
Her eyes narrowed when he teased again. She approached him, her hands at the rim of his pants with her fingers tucked in. She tip-toed slightly, her head tilted, and their lips barely touching. Her heart was pounding widly. She was nervous. She wasn’t usually the one to make the first move.
“Are you going to keep teasing or do something?”
She gave him room in case he did not want this.
Graham hadn’t expected her to do that. Before it had been more his initiative with her following but this was… different. In a good way. He leaned down just enough that she could reach as far as she wanted to, eyes flicking between hers, their breaths mingling in what little gap was between them.
“I was going to keep teasing, leave anything like this for later and be all proper. I didn’t come here with any plans…” He trailed off, his own nerves seeping through. Kriff, if she wanted to he wouldn’t say no to her, but at the same time it was so messy. Should they? Graham had learned some things in the last few years and forethought had been among those lessons. He withdrew slightly, not out of reach but far enough it was less tempting. “I’m not sure this is that simple.”
Maybe it was but he didn’t know. That uncertainty left him unbalanced. If she was sure then… then that was different. She knew more of the cards at play here than he did.
He… did not kiss me.
Evelyn was slightly in shock. The Graham she had met all those years ago wouldn’t hesitate. He withdrew and she followed. Her hands withdrew. She wasn’t going to push him into something he didn’t want.
She was unable to look at him as her eyes burned so she glanced away for a moment to take in a few breaths. She felt so embarrassed. Then she was able to look back over at him.
“I do not know about you but ever since my family kicked me out, nothing had been simple. However-” She closed her eyelids a bit longer than usual before reopening them.
“I understand.”
She was an idiot. Vulnerable. And she hated it.
“If you do not need anything else, good night, Graham.”
He wouldn’t meet her gaze, even once she had recovered and tried to. Guilt surged. It probably shouldn’t but the way she withdrew, sharply, as if burned? Graham resisted the urge to grab her hands and put them back.
“I-” She didn’t linger long on her understanding and it was like being dismissed as a child at home once again. He chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment before nodding, straightening up from the counter. “Right. Sure.”
Graham wasn’t sure what else to say. To do. It’d be weird wouldn’t it, if he walked it back now? She clearly had wanted to but then- Kriff. He’d been dead five years, they hadn’t seen each other since Myla was born. So much had changed. He had changed. Falling into bed for a pretty smile had been great when he’d known what his life was but he didn’t here. Maybe if they’d met while he was in the pits but here..?
Evelyn was in front of him still.
He put a hand to the side of her head, placing a kiss to the top of her hair before shifting to move past her. It wasn’t what she wanted, nor himself, but he hadn’t meant.. Kark he didn’t know what he was doing. Tension held his shoulders high as he moved to leave the bedroom.
Evelyn exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding when he tenderly placed a kiss on top of her hair and moved away.
“Graham-” She grimaced.
“Can… we just cuddle?” Her throat caught and she was ready for him to keep walking or to say no.
He hesistated at the door, looking back towards Evelyn.
A slight smile cracked through the tension, not breaking it but… it was something. A positive. Not a something he had expected from today, frankly being shot had been a more likely outcome in his mind but that was a lay over from days gone by. Getting shot had been far too common of a inevitably back then.
“I’d.. like that.” Graham responded after that moment, still unsure but present.
Evelyn returned the small smile, there was some relief… but the tension was still there.
“Okay. I need shut down the house. I will be back.” She headed out. Simple things such as making sure the lights were off, door was locked, and she put up a screen on the fireplace to avoid any wayward ashes. She paused for a moment and ran her fingers through her hair.
It… was not like her to be impulsive and she hasn’t in so long. She made her way back to her room and the only light was the lamp on her side. She gave Graham a small smile and sat the edge of the bed and started to loosely braid her hair.
“Do you think you will even get sleep tonight? Knowing you are seeing Cole tomorrow?” Evelyn asked to pass the time.
Graham had gotten settled onto the bed, leaned onto his side. He hadn’t quite settled onto the pillow yet, it felt strange in someone else’s bed for the first time in.. quite a while.
He watched her hands work, the smile fading slightly at her question.
“At least some, yeah. I usually sleep well but… I’m not sure if I’m excited or should be expecting to get shot. You didn’t exactly react well and he always was more…” Graham trailed off, trying to find a word that felt fair to call Cole after all these years. After all of those fears being proven true.
Evelyn’s fingers paused for a moment before she continued.
“I… can try to have him give me his blaster before he steps into my home. Can make it a rule.” She sighed as she finished up and slipped underneath the sheet and blanket. She laid on her back first and facing him. Evelyn paused for a moment before turning to her side and her back facing him. Careful to not scoot too close but enough room for his arm to go around her. She.. didn’t know how close he wanted her.
“If you are unable to sleep for some reason… there are teas that help. In the kitchen, above the sink, right cupboard, purple box. That is the one that might help you. It was the only one that helped me in this entire galaxy. It also helped decrease my nightmares and did not cause any grogginess.”
Evelyn was curious and wondered if Graham wanted to finish saying what he was going to say. Did he want to?
Her voice became softer and gentler, “You… do not have to answer but Cole was always more what?”
“I.. you can try but he won’t like that.” Graham commented, watching her get settled and with the room being provided, slipping an arm under her, drawing her closer. Tentative. How close was too close? “It wouldn’t be like I don’t deserve it in some ways.”
How lonely was Evelyn that a man shed not spoken to in nearly a decade, and thought he had been dead for years as of a few months ago, was invited to her side to sleep?
Graham pulled her closer, not quite pressed together but it wouldn’t take much to close the gap.
He didn’t expect to continue at frowned at the question. Did he want to finish that? She didn’t know Cole well but… then again maybe Evelyn should know considering this was going to occur in her home.
“Paranoid.”
Evelyn’s body tensed for a moment before she started to relax. She never thought she was a cuddles person until Aketa and she desperately missed it.
Course, she wouldn’t tell anyone this.
Evelyn considered for a moment and Graham wasn’t wrong. To Cole’s point of view it may… not look good at first to see his brother alive after all those years and no contact. He doesn’t know that Graham thought he was dead. This was all a mess. Everything was a mess.
That’s okay. Messes will get cleaned up eventually. Not always right away… but eventually.
And she was the cause of one of the messes earlier. She needed to apologize for that but she doesn’t have enough thoughts gathered to think of how to properly apologize. It will have to wait until morning.
“I will try then.” Evelyn had no comfort for Graham when he said he felt like he deserve it in someway. Instead, her arm went to the one holding her and gave a reassuring squeeze.
It wasn’t long before Graham answered her question.
Paranoid.
She knew that too well. She had seen so many soliders develop horrible paranoia. Everything and everyone was out to get them. No matter what.
It can’t be that bad if that woman was still around him and alive.
“Oh.” How was she suppose to respond to that? Yea. She was going to do her best to make sure they were not armed when they enter her home in the morning.
“It will be okay.” Evelyn reassured, uncertain herself.
“I don’t recommend makin’ promises you can’t keep.” Graham sighed, his voice as soft as hers. Not accusatory but tired.
Kark he felt tired a lot these days. For a couple years it had been great, guilty but free. Able to run and do and be whatever. It was up to him. Then they were dead and the guilt swallowed it all for a while. It was only recently he’d gotten over that and now Cole had been alive this whole time and alone.
Alone. He closed his eyes.
“He used to cling to my arm, y'know? When we were real little.” He muttered, barely audible but feeling the need to say it. Perhaps he’d be judged for it tomorrow but it was okay if it happened now too. Graham knew what he’d done. Though maybe it was a bit much to dump on Evelyn, who’d had a rather terrible shock and was now.. cuddling him. The grip on his arm, the squeeze of her hand, was prominent.
Hopefully she’d succeed in getting the weapons off of Cole. Some part of him knew he should mention hidden ones but another felt almost… deserving of the risk.
Yeah. It’d work out however it did.
Port Ol'Val
Weapons, check. Armour was packed to the side. In theory there was no need. Cole straightned up from his backpack, looking to Sof nearby.
“She didn’t say why specifically Sofila, just that it’s about Graham.”
“It’s so weird that she never said anything? Wait, how many times have you met her? Has she ever ask about Graham? All this is confusing.” Sofila frowned. What the kriff. “I remember meeting her once, at the festival… that was it.”
Who in the karkin hells would message Cole out of the blue and wanted to talk about his dead brother. Kist, even she doesn’t know how she would feel if she was in the same ship. She would want to know what or how a stranger knows something about one of her siblings but… this is reopening a wound to a man she cares about and Sofila doesn’t like it.
She wanted Cole to be okay.
And she doesn’t know how far back this would set him.
“We’ve met twice since we originally met. Four if we include that and the festival though we didn’t talk at that.” Cole secured the bag and placed it at the bottom of the bed before sitting down at the end of it, a frown set into his face. “She knew Graham. They had sex once and she wanted to know how he died. How long ago it was. Wouldn’t tell me why but she must’ve liked him a lot to karking bother me with all this.”
Sofila clenched her jaw for a moment. Why would a woman be bothering someone about someone she had sex with once? If she didn’t date Cole and he died and Graham happened to be alive or something, she wouldn’t bother the man.
This was waving red flags for her.
“I’m going with you.”
Then she grimaced at how bossy that sounded.
“If that’s okay,” Sofila added quickly.
Cole looked up toward her, gaze sharp. Considering and forcing the initial no down. She’d be safe in theory, there was no reason to expect a threat and yet he’d been doing the exact same so the concern wasn’t one he could exactly ease in anyway without being a liar.
“You don’t have to.”
“I-” Sofila stopped herself. She didn’t know how she felt about all this. It didn’t help that it’s so weird and kriffin’ vague.
Suns.
She also needed to learn to trust Cole. They can’t go everywhere everytime together. Missions was different, after they agreed to go on missions together…
This wasn’t a mission.
It was to meet someone. A possibly crazy someone, but someone. Then she nodded and glanced down at her feet, her arms crossed across her chest.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Cole shifted to stand, a world of worry and anger and grief flooding through his mind in a rush of confusion yet one thing stood in the midst of it all. He put his hands on her elbows, running them up just a few inches before back down again.
“That’s not a no or a yes. I don’t think it’ll be anymore dangerous than I find most things but we have differing standards for that.”
He’d survive the storm no matter what it brought. He knew that. So did Sofila, he could see it in the way she avoided his gaze at first. It shouldn’t be a bad thing, for it to be either way.
Sofila’s shoulders dropped a bit at his touch but she still wasn’t looking up at him.
Kark. He always see right through her. What could be dangerous to her wouldn’t be dangerous to him sometimes and vice versa. He wasn’t wrong.
“Yea. We do.” Then she moved her head up slightly to finally meet with his eyes. She wants to go, so badly but she also wanted to respect his boundaries. What if the news was good? Maybe he would want to share it. What if it was bad? She should be there.
She can’t always be there.
Boundaries.
“Okay. I’ll stay.” She uncrossed her arms and gently pulled him into a hug if he allows her.
“Okay.”
Cole shifted forward with her, one arm slipping down and around her side, pulling her close against himself as the other crossed up. His hand rested on her shoulder blade.
“I’ll give you updates as and when I can.”
Sofila buried her face into his shoulder and hugged him tightly.
“Thank you.” He didn’t have to update her but.. the fact that he would helped her feel a bit better.
Part of her wanted to go ahead and be on Selen in case he needed her, but… no.
Boundaries.
Kist, this was so difficult.
Evelyn’s Home
Evelyn leaned against counter with her back. The food was done and she already cleaned up the pots and pans. And any mess that had been made. She wore simple dark grey crop hoodie with black sweatpants and black fuzzy socks. Figured if she looked less threatening, Cole may be more inclined to give her his blaster. And hopefully other weapons.
Even though she wouldn’t.
There was two plates with bacon and eggs. Next to them, a bowl of fruits. Simple. The moment Graham entered, she glanced up with a small friendly smile.
“Breakfast is ready. I am sorry about … my impulsiveness last night. I was-” She had a whole speech ready and now that he’s in the room and a bit more awake, it was a bit harder to get it out. She paused for a moment to re-gather her messy thoughts.
“I needed to remind myself that who we were ten years ago and who we are now are not the same. If you give me the chance.. I would love to get to know you. If Mr. Tyris is unable to help you, which I doubt, let me extend my hand as well.”
Then she tilted her head towards the caf maker, “Want some caf or water?”
“We’ve both grown up a bit yeah.”
Graham was in a similar attire to the previous day when he arrived though his hair was more properly tied back. A few strands were purposefully left out and free but the rest of his hair was secured properly.
“Water would be great, thank you.. for all of this. Helping. You didn’t have to. I know it might feel like obligation but considering how long I’ve been gone, I wasn’t expecting anything.” Well, except the drawing a weapon on him but he didn’t feel the need to mention that. Once she passed him a glass of water he tipped it back, drinking most of it in one go.
“If.. we want to try and work something out. What kind of people we are now an’ stuff, id be down.”
Evenly set her mug down and got a glass. She filled it up with water and listened to Graham.
She handed the glass to him, “If I did not want to help you, you would be out before breakfast.” She said honestly. She shook her head and thought about it for a moment.
“Not…. obligation. If the shoe was on the other foot.. I would not expect anything. But I remember how that felt. Being lost. No where to go at-,” her voice dropped and softened, “sixteen, Graham. I was scrambling. Desperate. Scared. I wish I had someone I knew, even just a little bit, to go to.” She was so glad Myla was safe with her family. They wouldn’t do that to her. And if they did, Evelyn would take her in, under the disguise of cousin or aunt, and kill them.
Maybe.
She gave him a small smile at him being down for them to get to know each other. At best, they could be friends. At worse? Well. She trusted were adults enough to not be toxic if they need to discuss anything when it comes to Myla.
“That sounds good.” She grabbed a plate and started to eat. She didn’t feel hungry, never did in mornings but she knows the importance of eating. Her plate was half done before she looked over to Graham.
“Are… Are you going to tell Cole about Myla if the opportunity arises?”
Graham had finished his own plate, he hadn’t loaded it too heavily but still seemed to eat quite quickly. He was sipping his drink when she asked that, frowning already. He knew she must’ve been out on her own back then but to just be… that desperate. It wasn’t a good situation.
Part of him wished they had been able to protect her, rather than be the threat she had run from next but there no way any of them could have known.
And then there was the case of Cole.
“With your agreeance… I don’t see why it should be hidden from him. Before it was worry our father would force her into the life I.. that we had growing up. But thats not a risk anymore and Cole wouldn’t hurt her. Not if he’s anything like the man he was when I left. I doubt he’s changed that much though you’d have a better idea than me of that.” Graham sighed, swirling the water still remaining in the bottom of the glass. “I don’t see the oppurtunity arising, really.”
Maybe I am overthinking again too much. Evelyn wasn’t sure if Cole was going to ask why Graham went to her, out of all people. Or maybe not. A familiar name.
“I am fine… with Cole knowing. As long he understands that she’s happy where she is and at best, she knows us as cousins or uncles and aunt. It would be unfair to-” Evelyn shook her head sadly. Why was talking about Myla was always so difficult?
It didn’t help she had no one to talk about Myla for years. Not even her therapist. She avoided looking at the pictures for a reason. She finished eating and started to do the dishes. She felt something warm go down her cheek and she didn’t realize she started to get teary.
Myla was safe now. Really safe. No more worries they had at the beginning. It was as if the toil and worry of not knowing for almost a decade had lifted. She assumed when she found out about Trevor’s death but Graham’s confirmation just made it really hit.
“Sorry.” She dried her hands quickly and got some paper towels. She was doing her best to keep it in. She can cry it out later. Not now. Not when Cole was on the way.
“I am just really relieved for Myla.”
“It would” Graham agreed with what she’d cut off saying. Myla didn’t deserve the truth and it wouldn’t be one that helped her. Maybe one day it could be a decision for her to make but he certainly wasn’t keen to let her know that her father was a mob boss’ son with a killer count higher than he can remember who faked his death for five years. It wasn’t a great look.
Evelyn was crying. The realisation hit like a speeder bike and for a moment he didn’t know how to react.
It felt weird to not be angry about someone crying in joy at his father’s demise. It was a painful knot in his stomach, that mess, so Graham just nodded in understanding. It was all he could manage for now.
He looked across to the clock on the wall. It was still early but somehow he doubted that Cole had waited until morning to leave. Not that he actually knew how far away his brother was. Kriff.
Finishing off the water with a almost aggressive swig, he planted the glass back onto the counter and got up, tucking the free strands of hair behind his ear.
By the time Evelyn had washed her face and most of the minimal remnants from breakfast had been cleared up, a knock finally sounded at the door.
Two knocks, short but sharp.
Graham stood up in a sudden movement, tension visible from his body language to his expression.
Evelyn noticed the aggression and she wanted to apologize but even she knew it would be moot. Losing someone was.. not easy but her daughter was safe. This caused conflict that she did not want right now. She felt like she hurt Graham’s feelings. Evelyn excused herself to go wash her face.
Evelyn stepped out, looked over to Graham, and tilted her head to the hallway.
“Maybe it is best you wait there while I try to get him to cooperate.” With that, she made her way over to the door and opened it.
“Thank you for arriving on short notice, Mr. Farrow. Can you please leave your shoes by the door and your weapons on the table?” Evelyn requested. He would noticed that her blaster and a few knives were already on the table. She had no shoes and no noticeable weapons on her.
Graham nodded, exhaling with some stress but stepping side ways into the hallway as asked.
Cole stood in as casual of dress as he ever wore, glancing toward the table and noting the weapons. Prepared. Why would she get them out just to show him where to out them? It didn’t make sense and set Cole on edge. Not that he wasn’t already.
He slipped his boots off, fiddling with the laces to do so before walking toward the table and placing his assault blaster and hunting knife beside her weapons. The pistol remained on its concealed holster on his belt. Cole didn’t want to believe this was a trap but something was severely off.
“Your terms are met. What did you want to tell me?”
Cole turned toward Evelyn, icy eyes bearing down on hers with little patience considering their last direct encounter.
Evelyn sighed as she closed the door behind him and started to make her way to the living room. Well. He got most of them removed. Those icy blue eyes. It almost made her feel like as she did when she was sixteen.
Almost.
But she was a captain of a squad now and many had stared her down so she just remained calm and stoic.
“You might want to sit down for this,” She gestured to the chair.
“For what, Wyvern?”
“For me.”
Cole turned and that was all he could manage upon seeing Graham there. His shoulders tensed and it felt like a gut punch to the stomach except he couldn’t avoid it. He couldn’t curl over to lessen or even tend to the pain. Instead it flared across him like a fire, everything within him screaming that this wasn’t real. It was false.
Graham was dead.
It vaguely occured to him that Evelyn was seeing the ghost too but the rest of him was more concerned with the fact he’d clearly gone insane. Or something had followed them from the ethereal realm. Instinct screamed to attack or to run but he couldn’t move. Was he even breathing at this point?
Graham approached slowly, concern deeply carved into his features as he got closer, placing his hands on Cole’s shoulders before pulling his brother into a hug.
Cole stood there, as much a statue as he was anything else. The touch was real but he wasn’t sure how much to trust now. At his sides, his hands shook ever so slightly.
Evelyn watched Cole carefully as Graham walked to him.
“He is real,” Evelyn said softly, wasn’t sure if Cole needed to hear something. Or what. Graham pulled Cole into a hug so she went to the kitchen as she got glasses and a pitcher of water. Figured the guys would need it. She returned, her eyes noticing Cole not returning the hug, she kept a close watch on him still.
Evelyn leaned over and set the pitcher down with glasses on the coffee table.
Evelyn could see him. He was real, apparently. The arms around him were real and they were attached to Graham. Graham who’d he’d found bled out on the floor, unsaveable. Who he’d watched the footage of being torn open in the gut only two weeks after it all happened. They’d had a funeral. He’d-
“We buried you.”
Cole’s voice cracked and he hated it, the embarrassment of that finally snapping him into some form of motion, grabbing Graham’s arms and pushing him back, looking up into his face.
“I’m sorry, I know, I just-” Graham’s eyes widened, stopping mid sentence as he moved one hand, grasping the side of Cole’s head and turning it. The scars. None of those had been there before- Well, some, but karking stars-
“What did they do to you..”
Cole shook his head, taking another slight step back, away from the touch. “Don’t.”
Graham paused in place, slowly lowering his arms away, “Cole I am sorry, please just… you can ask me anything. I’ll.. explain anything that I can but-”
“We buried you!” Cole snapped, knowing it was in repitition but struggling. He ran a shaking hand through his hair, putting more space between himself, Graham and Evelyn. She was still in the edge of his vision. Why had she done this? Kark this was too much. “How- You-” He stopped, forcing himself to. There was a picture on the mantel that he didn’t process the people within, but at least it gave him something else than the very real, older, visage of his brother staring at him like he was about to burst into flames.
Maybe he was. He felt dizzy.
Graham just stood there, scared to move and set Cole off fully but uncertain of what the kark he could do or say. It was his fault though, there was no one to blame but himself even if his reasons had been good.
“I was never in the coffin. I’m.. not sure what happened with that but I left the same night everything happened. There was enough bacta in the room for me to heal enough to get out. I didn’t want to die Cole. I was scared.”
Evelyn had nothing to say. So… the scar on his face wasn’t there before. Cole didn’t react well to Graham’s touch and started to bring up that they buried him. Her brows furrowed. If he was gone… and he was never in a coffin… that meant someone had to know. Someone knew that his body wasn’t in the coffin when they went ahead with it. She originally thought maybe he dug himself out but from the way he talked…
Someone had to know. And she was not going to inquire. The tension was getting high.
She poured water into the glasses and sat them by the guys with a soft clink. When she was done, she sat down on the couch and said nothing else. This wasn’t her place right now to ask questions and sometimes when someone sees someone sitting down, they follow and she was hoping Cole would follow.
Graham followed the motion on instinct, glad for it honeslty. Even without her direct input, it gave a way to at least… settle something. Even if it was just himself.
It was hard to watch Cole struggle with doing the same.
There wasn’t much in the way of shifts to the youngest Farrow’s expression but Graham had had time to learn them in their youth and it still all held true. The pain and grief and suspicion was plain to see. There was anger too, it was leading the show but Graham could tell in Cole’s eyes that it wasn’t the strongest among them. It was just the easiest. The most familiar.
With both of them sat down, Cole eventually followed suit in a steadily extending silence. He eventually broke the silence.
“Why come back now?”
Graham rubbed his knee, “I.. only heard about what happened about a year ago. I thought you were all dead and… I dunno. I came here hoping someone might be alive that maybe got the coordinates off of you or Corvo or father.”
Cole tried to conceal his expression, to maintain the mask he usually did but this was too much. His brow was creased and his eyes had a shine to them that implied far more ongoing beneath the surface.
Graham winced, wanting to hug him again but resisting after that initial attempt going so poorly. He continued, glancing side ways toward Evelyn before back to Cole, “I followed the first name I knew and… Now I’m here.”
“You left.”
“You wouldn’t have come with me.”
“This… is a lot.” Evelyn chimed in. Her usual tone dropped to softness and cautious. She was concerned for Cole’s wellbeing. And Graham’s.
“If you wish… we can meet up again. So you can have time to process and take all this in.” Evelyn offered. She didn’t want him to feel trapped here. It was a lot to process. She … wouldn’t know what she would do if Aketa showed up at the doorstep and never tried to come home in those five years.
Not that she can blame her, their argument the day before Aketa died was heartbreaking.
Cole had been about to snap back at Graham but stopped in light of Evelyn’s interruption. Or.. call for peace. He wasn’t sure what to think. Or feel. In all honesty he still wasn’t entirely sure that he hadn’t gone mad.
When no response came from the younger Farrow, Graham stepped in, “Or we could go somewhere private. Don’t take this the wrong way Evelyn but.. just us two, kind of private y'know?”
He looked at her, hoping she’d understand.
Cole didn’t meet either of their gazes if they flicked his way, trying to corral the mess that was mind.
“Of course, you two do not need to go anywhere.” Evelyn was a private person herself and she gets it. Even if she will never know the answers to the questions she had, it doesn’t bother her. She got up from the couch.
“I will be in the backyard.” At least it would be out of the house and hopefully give Cole some peace of mind. She went over to the front door first to grab her shoes and made her way to the back. There was a moment before they both hear a click of the door unlocking and then followed by a door opening and closing.
At least she can work on the garden bed. Remove the flowers that died from first frost.
The door clicked shut and silence fell again before Graham grabbed one of the glasses of water Evelyn had set out prior.
Cole noted the movement but when it retreated again he remained in place, not keen to move right now himself. He wasn’t sure what he’d do but he… There was plenty to say.
“Why did you leave?”
“I was scared-”
“Of home? I get leaving but staying gone-”
“Yeah I was scared of home! Kriff, Cole, how many times have we almost died for stupid kist?” Graham snapped, meeting Cole’s gaze as it finally turned to him with shock and pain. It hurt to see but he didn’t stop. “I almost died. I didn’t fake any of it but once it happened I had to go. We were kids, I wasn’t even 25 yet! I’ve still barely lived now, years later and I almost gave all that time up to protect secrets. Secrets we shouldn’t have known or been part of. We never had a choice!”
“It was our family…” Cole cut in, his voice quiet but carrying in the silence following Graham’s outburst.
“What kind of family makes a tiny kid kill someone? Please karking tell me you still don’t think that was right.”
“Of course not but it was n-”
“No it wasn’t. All it did was make you scared.” Cole flinched at the words and Graham sighed. “This- I’m sorry. I don’t… Kark I’m sorry Cole but you wouldn’t have come with me and I needed to leave. I thought you’d be okay”
“I wasn’t! And then everyone else karking died. They’re all gone. I..” Cole couldn’t look at Graham, trying to control his breathing. His heart hadn’t stopped racing and everything was following suit. “I- I almost just karking followed you Graham. I-” Graham froze in place, staring as Cole continued stumbling through his words in a way he hadn’t in years. “I was alone. Or.. close enough. I- I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was but I couldn’t do it anymore. Not without our family and not without you. Everyone was dead and now you just come back. I- I needed-”
Cole was cut off by the mass of his brother enwrapping him in a hug.
It was returned this time, Cole leaning up slightly into Graham’s arms and the tears that had been threatening to break free minutes ago finally did so. He pressed his face into Graham’s shoulder, Graham himself just closing his eyes and holding him as close as he could.
Guilt. It could choke him now and it’d be a fully manifested being doing so with how powerful it was. But it was fixable, Cole was still here and that meant it could be okay again.
“I’m not going anywhere this time.”
Cole’s grip tightened but the muttered words in return were strained, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
A few hours later…
It had been awhile. Evelyn was getting slightly concerned. Did it go well? Did Cole end up shooting him? Did they both leave and for some reason, forgot about her in the backyard? She removed the gardening overalls she had and hung them up. After removing her shoes and made sure nothing else had dirt on her, she made her way back in.
She saw they were talking. The tensions was still… there but not as thick as it was when Cole was processing Graham was seriously here. She was relieved to see no injured Graham, misplaced furniture, or blaster shots in her walls.
“Do not mind me.” Evelyn chimed in quickly, not wanting to bother them. She started to wash her hands at the sink. Though she could’ve sworn she caught the name of the woman that she had been seeing around Cole, Sofila.
“You seem fond of Sofila.”
“Yeah she’s… great. Fun. Kinda loud and kark, father would have problems with her but you’d like her.”
Evelyn spoke and the pair jolted slightly, Cole withdrawing somewhat. His eyes were still slightly red but there was little he could do about that. Graham had settled on the edge of the couch beside where Cole had settled into a chair.
Graham smiled slightly, before looking back to Cole, “You’ll have to let me meet her.”
This was a good conversation. Graham wanting to meet Sofila meant he was staying. Now, Wyndell Tyris just needed to pull through. And maybe Evelyn can help some. And now, Cole.
Graham has a good structure to start here. She hopes he realized that. She wondered if they already talked about Myla and part of her wants to. If Cole didn’t… react well for awhile, he may be angrier if they held it for a bit longer? Would it be best if he knows now? Or would it be too overwhelming for the younger Farrow?
Evelyn wished she can have a moment with Graham to discuss this quickly but she wasn’t going to pull him away from this. No. Graham thought he was dead and the way he react when he found out yesterday… she didn’t have the heart to pull him away.
“Ms. Armis is an interesting woman. She threw me off in a good way with how she talks. It makes me thinks she really sees the good in people. Do you guys need more water?” Evelyn requested, trying to be a good host as she dried her hands on the towel. She attempted to stand on tip-toes to see over the couch to check on the pitcher.
Then she realized it had been a few hours, “I can… also see if I can whip up some food?” Evelyn’s brows furrowed as her head turned to where the pantry door was. She was trying to think what she had in the pantry and fridge that can feed the three of them for lunch. She doesn’t even know what they like and don’t like.
Really, how did Aketa do this?
“She does.” Cole answered in regards to Sofila, his gaze casting away from Evelyn and Graham for a moment. She’d seen it in him, somehow. What little there was.
Graham had leaned back to look to Evelyn, twisting at something of an odd angle, “Just more water is fine for now. You didn’t exactly get a warning on guests, you don’t have to feed us.”
Not that he wasn’t getting hungry, but asking her to make a meal for 3 seemed a bit much.
Evelyn was walking to the pantry when Cole answered. She did not expect to be right about the woman. It didn’t help that Sofila, in a way, sort of remind her of Aketa. Just… less energetic. That Mirialan had way too much energy for Evelyn to even comprehend. After grabbing two cans from the pantry, she heard Graham and shook her head.
“I have an idea. It will not take long. Grilled cheese with tomato soup.” Grilled cheese was messy but it was fine. She can clean up when Cole leaves. She can tolerate several minutes.
“Lunch is ready,” she informed the guys. She set down the plates of grilled cheese and a hot bowl of tomato soup for the three of them. There was spoons in case they needed it along with napkins. There was a fresh pitcher of water as well. Evelyn was about to sit down and remembered.
“I can take my plate outside if you two still want to…”
Graham was up and on his feet before she spoke heading over and quickly waved his hand in dismissal of the idea of Evelyn leaving. “No, no. Your house your lunch. It’s cold out anyway.”
Slower to move, Cole was soon up beside his brother and nodded slightly in agreement. Honestly he’d rather more privacy but they’d covered what was important now. He’d stopped crying a while ago as well and while he could still feel the burn of it in his eyes, it was probably less obvious than prior.
Lunch was actually nice. It was odd for Evelyn to sit down and eat with someone. The three of them talk about possibilites for Graham on Selen or even Port Ol'Val. Cole brought up jobs there and Evelyn brought up jobs here. All good fit for Graham. She wanted to bring up the legal pit fighting but she wasn’t sure if Cole knew about it so she was going to wait until Cole leaves for Evelyn to give her input.
It was over. She gently rose from the seat and started to take their bowls and stack them- Graham grabbed the plates and started to stack them, helping her out. Evelyn was going to protest but he already made his way to place them into the sink. Evelyn soon followed and quickly whispered for only Graham to hear, her mouth barely moving. She had years of practice.
“You should tell him.”
Graham paused in place, looking down at her with a slight frown before over toward Cole. The younger Farrow was getting his shoes on, troubled but a strange lightness to his motions, especially obvious to Evelyn. It was as if a weight had been lifted from him in a way.
Graham looked back to her, conflicted. Would it just cause more problems?
Itd cause even more problems later.
He sighed, nodding and placing his hand on her shoulder for a moment before going over to Cole.
“Hey.”
Cole looked up, immediately catching the shift in energy. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothings wrong. Just.. something I couldn’t tell you a long time ago.”
Cole stared. He’d always been good at letting silence speak for him. Graham shifted uncomfortably.
“Me and Evelyn… Well, you know about the one off we had? Most folk didn’t know about her but you worked it out.”
“Yes.”
“Well. It wasn’t that simple.”
Cole glanced toward Evelyn for a moment, assessing her. Had they got married or some-
“She got pregnant.”
Cole’s face went blank.
“Obviously neither of us could keep her but she had family who wanted a kid and couldn’t. You have a niece, Cole. But she doesn’t know that her parents aren’t the ones who had her. Better, that way.”
Running a hand across the stubble on his cheek, Cole let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a bare moment. “Why didn’t- I know the answer. Kark Graham. Why didn’t you use a condom?”
Graham chuckled nervously.
It… was good to see Cole doing better. Less tense. When Graham nodded in agreement to tell Cole, it was as if weight lifted off of her shoulders too. Ten years. She had been hiding this for ten years and it was taking a toll on her. To unable to talk to someone about it. But now? Now, she really can. One step at time. It was important for Cole to know before anyone else.
He’s family. Then she heard Cole bringing up the condom.
“We really got lost in the moment.” Evelyn muttered, clear enough for Cole to understood her as she picked up a glass and drank the water while glancing away. There was a faint blush creeping on her tanned cheeks. Something she couldn’t control. It was annoying to her. She even remember blushing when her commanding officers turn their attention on her just for some drills.
“I… have pictures if you want to look. Later, of course.” She glanced over to Graham and back to Cole with a small and friendly smile. The warmth on her cheeks were already fading with the change of topic.
“We have the time now.”
Graham just pointed a thumb toward Evelyn. Yeah, that was about it. They were teenagers and it wasn’t either of their smartest moments. But it had been fun.
Cole had face palmed for a moment before continuing with his shoe laces. “I would like that at some point. It..”
He trailed off. He’d had a small piece of family in the world. Something. For years and never knew.
Graham placed a hand on Cole’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when… Well. Before.”
“I know why you didn’t but I wouldn’t have told Graham.” There was a shift to Cole’s voice, pain filtering in.
Evelyn gave Cole a small nod.
“Of course, another time.” Not now. The poor man had so much to process. Evelyn didn’t have closure to Graham or that much of a bond, so she can’t imagine for Graham and her were a thing and he just appeared at her door. She may would’ve reacted much more violently. Or would she? If Aketa appeared…
Evelyn noticed the pain in Cole’s voice and silently made her way to her bedroom to give Cole the space he may be seeking for.
The murmur of voices soon followed her exit.
“I.. wasn’t sure Cole. You were always so..”
“So what?” A long silence followed before Cole sighed, getting up to his feet. “He was our father, Graham, but you were my brother.”
“I…”
“It’s fine.”
“He still has his claws in you.”
“Claws? He wasn’t a karking nexu.”
“Cole, please-”
“No! No. After everything he did for us, not only do you leave but you come back trying to say.. what about him? I don’t think it would have been best for a kid to have been brought into the compound and he would have wanted that but what he taught us, he had to-”
“No he didn’t Cole but we aren’t doing this right now. We just got each other back.”
Another long silence followed, broken by the opening of the front door before Cole replied, “I’ll be on planet for a few days.”
The door closed, Graham standing in view of it. He didn’t know what to do, lowering his face and pressing a hand to his forehead. Hazel eyes closed.
Evelyn heard the door closed and stepped out of her bedroom. She could see Graham. She took a step forward but then hesitated.
Should… she do anything? Her eyes flickered to the ‘mess’ in the kitchen that she should clean up. Graham may not want to be bothered right now. She turned her head back towards Graham’s direction. Why was this so hard? Social cues was still slightly foreign to her. Not as bad as all those years ago at least.
She silently approached Graham and was by his side, in his view if he looks up. Graham has been through a lot in the last two days. Not just Cole.
“Are you-” Of course he wasn’t okay.
“Do you want a hug?” Evelyn offered.
Graham looked up slightly at the offer, lowering his hand and nodding. He turned toward her, wrapping his arms around her and sinking ever so slightly into hers.
He still struggled to deal with the.. complicated history that was his father. It had been easier when it was all just behind him. It had hurt but still been easier when the man was dead. That was it. No closure but at least what was done was done. There was nothing left to fear.
But it was still in Cole.
Evelyn’s arms wrapped around him as she pulled him close and just held him. She was a bit confused. She thought the meeting had gone well. He didn’t get shot or stabbed at. Of course, she wasn’t here the few hours they chatted.
This was their hurdle to overcome. All she can do was to at least, try to be a good friend to Graham. She had been there, no friends and picking themselves up slowly.
He held it until it started feeling awkward for him, pulling back and letting out a long slow sigh.
“Thank you.” It was softly spoken, but appreciative. “That.. could have gone worse.”
“Oh. But it did not.” Evelyn gave him a reassuring smile the best she could along with a gentle squeeze of his arm.
“Before I forget, you mentioned about….legal pit fighting. If that is really your passion, just…one favor? You saw I have plethora of bacta. Just come by and I would happily give you some.” She turned and went to the kitchen to start on finish cleaning before it drives her nuts.
“I appreiciate that. I don’t know if that’s what’ll be doing. Cole’s going to contact Wyndell for me and we’ll.. see what I get up to after that. I don’t really know what’s going on here, just that there was a safe place to go.” Graham shrugged.
He followed her to the edge of the kitchen, leaning on the side of a counter.
“Until then I’m a bit stuck.”
Evelyn shook her head as she placed the dishes into the dishwasher and started to wipe down the counter first.
“I meant what I said yesterday. Until everything clears up and you get more direction, you can stay here meanwhile.” Then she paused for a moment before looking over to Graham. Wait. What did he mean by stuck? Usually, that term was used by her clients who wasn’t creative with their sexual lives or it wasn’t a good situation to have at work. Such as a ship being stuck in a tractor beam.
“If.. that is okay with you?”
“I.. appreciate it Evelyn, I do.” Graham offered a faint smile.
He’d finally gotten his life to a point where it was good. It was simple but it was fun and refreshing and now it was changing. For the better, in theory, he couldn’t fight in the pits forever, even now it was taking a strain on his body combined with everything he’d done to it before he left the compound.
It still felt like a lot though.
Evelyn gave him a small nod to show that she accepted his thanks.
“It is no big deal. It is also…. for selfish reasons.” Evelyn sighed as she finished wiping down everything and rinsed the rag she used. It started to click with her. But once Graham gets settled and finds his own place to stay at safely, she can learn again. Just like she did five years ago. She wanted to ask him more questions. But had the man gone through enough? She will say one thing. Evelyn had her first close call with the recent war and it actually put things in perspective that she’s struggling with. She walked to the living room and started to get a fire going. Once it roared to life, she remained squatted in front of it and she turned to look where Graham was.
“I… am sorry. That day, the one you thought you died, it must had been so terrifying.”
Selfish?
Graham waited until she was about done with cleaning before settling onto the couch, leaning back and letting himself relax into it.
Evelyn paused, turning to look at him and… Kriff.
A frown drew his brow together. He’d long since got past the worst of the trauma in relation to it but… “Yeah. It was. Stupid thing was, what I was trying to do wouldn’t have achieved what I wanted to anyway. It was so stupid and my own kriffing fault- or- Well.” He stopped suddenly, shaking his head.
Ah. Kist. He still didn’t- She should had never brought it up.
“Wait- I did not-” Evelyn winced and felt guilt for asking him such a personal question. She got up and dust her hands on her pants before headed to a basket where the quilt she was working on was in. Grabbed the supplies, Evelyn sat down on the couch.
“I will not bring it up again.” All she knew was that Ms. Lottson was defending herself and somehow… took Graham down. At least, not completely. Now, she didn’t have to worry about Myla approaching at her door when she was an adult and asking about Graham-
No. No more what ifs.
“Well. Help yourself to anything if you need. Alcohol is in the cabinet above the fridge.”
“No it’s fine. I haven’t ever really… been able to talk about it. It’s.. good to.” Graham sounded conflicted still, glancing toward the cabinet and getting up. He remembered where glasses were, getting two out before exploring what was in the cupboard options wise.
“Oh. You… cut off so I was not sure. All I was told it was self defense for Ms. Lottson.” Evelyn thought it might be a good starting point for Graham to continue if he wished.
On the left side was mainly wine. On the right had a few vodkas and an unopened whiskey in the back, obvious at an area where Evelyn cannot reach.
“You.. know Zuza?” Graham sounded hesisitant, grasping for the whiskey bottle at the back and pulling any others forward that were clearly out of reach as well before closing the cupboard with just the whiskey in hand.
He raised a glass, in offering of pouring though quiet in wait for her answer.
“Not know. We met. Once. She is not my boss but can give me orders. I got nasty to her. I…. Should apologize for that.”
Evelyn blinked at the whiskey. “Huh. That schutta.” She chuckled softly. “Aketa was more whiskey than me but yes, please. Do… you hold a grudge or hatred towards Ms. Lottson?”
“So she’s here.” Graham noted with some astonishment and.. conflict. Pain. Regret.
“No. I did for a while but then I karking grew up. Do you know what happened that day? I’m guessing not, if you’re not close to Cole or Zuza.”
He poured her a drunk, handing it over before pouring his own and taking a generous sip from it.
“She is.” Evelyn confirmed. Graham must feel like it’s a small world despite the massive galaxy with the three- now four of them close by in a way or another.
“No. I have no idea what happened.” She tried to get it out of Cole before but- she couldn’t push it. And Zuza? That poor woman practically fell apart in a way when Graham was even mentioned.
Evelyn grabbed the drink, “Thank you,” and took a sip.
“Zuza was joining us. Cole really liked her, our father didn’t. So she went through more.. tests than most do to prove herself. It was finally the last one, she just had be present for a interrogation. Torture.” Grahams face darkened. It wasn’t a pleasant side of himself that had been there that day. In fact it was one side he desperately kept dead and karking buried.
“She couldn’t watch. Ran for it, she knew she wouldn’t be allowed to stay and that she knew too much to just go. I went after her. For the family.” His voice took on a bitter tone. “No loose ends. I caught up with her, she dodged me trying to kill her, still took the hit but it didn’t stop her from striking back.”
Evelyn listened and watched him carefully. Oh. Mr. Farrow had feelings for Ms. Lottson? She didn’t suspect that at all. Then again, she would know opposite attracts considering Aketa and herself were two sides of the same coin.
Evelyn was, very much, glad that Myla didn’t grow up in that compound when Graham brought up torture. Evelyn can handle things like that. But to- Myla- … no. She couldn’t even fathom the idea of her daughter having to learn to do that.
Evelyn slightly winced, no loose ends.
For the family.
Evelyn exhaled slowly. She stared at her drink before taking another sip and grimace at the burn. It had been so long since she had whiskey and wasn’t used to the burn it gives. She… didn’t have anything to say so she reached out and gently squeeze Graham’s hand.
Then it came to her.
“You are not there anymore. You are here now. With your brother and eventually, new friends. A new life for you.”
“I know. I’m just… Zuza’s probably gonna freak out when she sees me. I’m surprised Cole’s still here if she is, they…” Graham trailed off, sighing and shaking his head. He returned the squeeze, glancing up to meet Evelyn’s gaze for a moment before sipping his own drink.
“I was her friend. He was more but I still turned on her. Y'know, as much as I was scared of dying, and that was what made me run. I could have gone back but that… that scared me more than anything. I’m not a good person, I’m fine with that, but what I did that day? That was too far.”
He had a good point. How did Cole not murder her? Or attempted to and she took him down like she took down Graham? Maybe there was more to it than they both know.
“You can ask Cole that sometime.” Evelyn pointed out. She took a small sip when he continued, about him not being a good person. Well.
“At least you realized that was too far. A good person would not care. Graham, what have you been doing the last five years? Did you do the same thing you would had done if you were still at the compound or did you…somewhat changed?” No one changes completely. Evelyn knew that. There was a part of her that still wanted to leave the military and just…go back being a contract pilot. But it wasn’t steady among other things.
Graham frowned, looking away from her gaze.
“I did my damn best to find out what normal was and… be it. Turns out most people aren’t trained on weapons before they even have a full vocabulary. That they don’t get shown death on purpose before they hit puberty. They grow up having fun, go to a school to learn kriff and either become real smart or go off into business right then and there. Normal.. business. No hurting anyone, no fear or pain outside of coming across people like I was. I’d like to think it’s a was now but…” Graham shrugged. “I’d still do a lot of it again, for Cole, if nothing else.”
Evelyn visibly winced but he didn’t see it. She knocks back the whiskey and exhaled sharply. It… was good that Myla did not grow up in that environment. They both made the right decision. As difficult as it was. But was it hard for him as it was for her? She doesn’t know.
But that last sentence… it worried her.
“Graham.” He turned to look at her.
“Mr. Farrow is a grown man. He has not been here that long away from the compound. I think… it was overtaken two- two years ago?” She sounded unsure but shook her head to move on.
“My point was, you had five years and you saw things he did not. He did not have that choice. Now he has you, alive and here, to show him. And Ms. Armis. Why would you go back to something you despite and hate because it is, at the moment, what you believe is all that Mr. Farrow understands? Why not give him a benefit of doubt?”
“He still thinks it was necessary. The way our father raised us.” Graham said simply. “I.. Still remember our mother somewhat. It’s faint but what I remember? She’d have hated what he did to us. How he handled us- Cole in particular cause Cole didn’t resist it at all. He also didn’t choose to leave. He was there until Corvo, our uncle, dragged him onto a shuttle and practically forced him to escape. I ain’t saying I’d go back now, but more.. the hypothetical thing people say yknow? If I had to go back and do it all again, I’d do it the same because it’d mean I could protect him as best I could again. Maybe better, this time. Or… I don’t know. I want him to have changed, and maybe he has. Kark i.. I hope he has Evelyn.” Graham sighed deeply, downing the rest of His whiskey.
Oh. It was hypothetical. Not logical. Well.. that was a bit difficult for her brain to process but she gets it. Evelyn reached out and placed her hand on his and gave it a small squeeze.
“Honestly… if my home was attacked, I would have to be forced to leave.” Evelyn pointed out. It was true. She could not fault Cole for that. It was his home. Everything he knew.
“You mentioned last night for me not to make promises I cannot keep. I did not have a respond then but I do now.” She removed her hand and placed her empty glass on the table.
“After everything I had been through there was one thing I still believe in, ironically. Hope. It was not a promise, but hope. I… may be wrong because I do not know Cole or how your father worked, but if Cole was really dead set in his old ways, would he not try to claim back his home? Or set up something somewhere? Instead of being here for a couple of years and worked for Clan Arcona?”
Graham shrugged, a lost look in his eyes. He didn’t know. He truly didn’t.
“Cole is smart. It might be him moving on or it might be that he’s not stupid enough to think anyone would help him without doing him in afterwards and there was no way to do it alone. He..” Graham shook his head. “Maybe he has. I really hope.. he has.”
It was hard to think like this of Cole. The man had tried to karking shoot himself and he was here judging him but at the same time he just.. He was scared. For Cole, for himself. He’d worked hard to get away from the life they had lived back then.
He is really hurting.
Evelyn blinked in surprise. Did…. She doesn’t usually think that. Ever. Besides for those that she was close to. She silently scooted closer to Graham on the couch. Maybe her being nearby would help? She felt uncertain. Unsure.
“I-” She didn’t know what to say. This was harder than figuring out what was wrong with her ship for ten days until she found the minuscule thing.
“I am not good at this. But I will say just to give your brother time. Hang out with him more. See where it goes. Meet Ms. Armis too. See if she is good for him and if not, scare her away? Is that what siblings usually do?” Evelyn asked with uncertainty in her voice.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Something like that.” Graham wouldn’t have known 5 years ago but he’d seen normal siblings since. They hadn’t had time to fight about stupid things like relationships but now he knew that’s what it should have been over.
It was a strange thing, grief.
“You’re doing a lot just being here, honestly Evelyn.” He smiled, ever so slightly. “I’ll.. do what you said. I wanted to meet her anyway so, yeah. Yeah.”
He leaned back into the couch a little, trying to make himself relax.
Ah. So it was something they do. Evelyn wouldn’t know. Though she did have some moments with her cousin growing up when she was with her during summer, she wasn’t sure if it was siblings or just being friends.
“Another reason why I am glad you are alive, I-” Evelyn frowned and looked away. She found herself looking into the fire at the fireplace. That was a bit easier than looking at him.
“I wanted to tell you that they convinced me to pick out her middle name and honestly, I had been very curious about why Myla? It is beautiful and it fits her.”
A middle name too. Huh.
Graham smiled, looking toward her for a moment before away again.
“Its similar to my mother’s name. Maree. I didn’t want to give her a dead person’s name, never really a good idea that, but.. close. She was a kind woman. Fiery, obviously, but kind. What did you choose for her middle name?”
Evelyn couldn’t help it as her lips curved slightly into a smile. She sounded like a wonderful woman and was even more, oddly enough, proud for her name. Kind and fiery. Everything she hoped Myla would be and more.
She glanced over to Graham with a thoughtful expression. She chewed on it for a bit and sighed, wishing there was a bit more whiskey in her glass. She hoped that he wouldn’t dislike it.
“Graeme.” She paused for a moment, remembering the day she told her cousin her choice.
“After you.”
“Oh.”
Graham blinked a few times, looking away and contemplating it. It took a few seconds before a slight smile crossed his face.
“I’m glad it didn’t have to be in memory.” It so nearly could have been. “Why me though, I had the chance to give her a name. It.. leaves you out of her name. Or something important to you, at least.”
Evelyn leaned against the sofa arm and watched the fire. The flames were always soothing and even hearing it pop and crackle.
“I watched you. Those four months before finding out I was pregnant, I watched you. You were fiercely protective especially to Cole and you had this….aura to make people laugh and comfortable. Well, those that were close to you that is. I wanted that for her. The protectiveness and the understanding of do no harm but take no kist. I wanted her strong and stand up for herself. I wanted her to smile and laugh, I guess… I saw nothing of value in me that I wanted to pass on to her.” Without realizing it, she was picking on her fingers in middle of the conversation.
“Maybe that’s me now but it wasn’t back then. I didn’t do harm in public, not.. in bars. But you clearly never saw me fighting. I’d throw the first punch before the other could.” Graham sounded pained but.. kark. It was a false perception. It was one he’d created back then on purpose but.. still.
“You’re just. Brave. Like, seriously, we were what, 17 when we first met and you were held at gun point. You didn’t even flinch, not really. You were scared, duh, but you weren’t trained to not be like we were. You’re strong, Evelyn. Of mind, all of that she has will be yours.”
“That is true but it was what I still remember. You could had hurt me when finding out I was pregnant. Or bring us or her into the compound. Stars, you could also not been there when I gave birth. But you did. You were there and you held me. Buried as it was, there was beauty in you among all that mess, Graham”
When he brought up that memory she chuckled for a few seconds. Kark. Even now she still did not like it when a blaster was aimed at her.
Then she was taken back. She looked over to Graham and her features softened.
“You make it really difficult not to kiss you. There is that hidden beauty again.”
Graham chuckled at that.
“I’ve always been good at the charm. Though.. I mean it.”
Hidden beauty. It didn’t really feel real. A long time ago he’d have taken that compliment and ran with it but it felt.. dirty to now. It was the downside of becoming aware of how much of a piece of shit you were.
He shrugged, “You’re pretty hard to not kiss half the time yourself Misty.”
Evelyn felt warmth rushed to her cheeks. The painful ping was there again. To be close. To feel his hands-
Too messy. He was right. Her eyes glanced down to her lap. She realized she was picking at her fingers and stopped.
“That stupid nickname.” Evelyn muttered softly with a small smirk.
“I am feeling slightly frustrated and flustered so I am going to go clean.” She never had qualms to let people know what she was feeling. She got up, grabbed her empty glass, and her hand extended towards Graham for his glass if he was done with it.
He held it out toward her.
“Anything I can do to help?”
Evelyn grabbed the glass and paused. Should she? No. It wasn’t right.
“It is something you can help with yes but I am not going to make you do that.” Evelyn gave him a smile and then a shake of her head.
“I think it is just… the familiarity of you. And the fact that I have been catching myself being selfish so I am just-” Evelyn frowned and then made her way to the kitchen and started to wash the dishes.
“I am a mess.” And it was annoying. She didn’t know what was worse, the silence and loneliness of her home or the battle of her emotions and hormones versus her mind.
“Make me do what?” Graham asked, shifting up to his feet as Evelyn headed back to the kitchen.
She was a mess. Well, so was he. But.. wait. What did she want?!
“Its not making me if I’m offering.”
Evelyn winced as she set aside one of the glasses. For a guy who was great at picking up clues ten years ago, either he lost his touch or he hated it. And that’s why she hesitated.
“Graham, I am not going to ask you to kark me. I rather if it is on your terms too… not just because I want it.”
Graham looked her over. Well, that made sense with everything else. Kark-
“Its not like I’m not interested. I was just- i wasnt sure if-” He commented. It was hard to not remember how she reacted when hadn’t reciprocated the kiss she leant into for. The request for company in bed, even if wasn’t anything else. The more his thoughts spiraled, the more frustrating it got.
Graham crossed the room, internally yelling kark it, closing the gap between them, grabbing her chin and finally just kissing her. As long as she didn’t pull back at least. He held it, before muttering against her lips, “I was just trying to be proper, about it. But if you don’t want proper…”
He trailed off, feeling like the implication was clear enough with her face still held firm in his grip.
Graham actually stuttered through his words as Evelyn sighed. She took it as a hint that he didn’t want to. Maybe he wanted to develop a relationship? After all, they agree to see if they can take it up to friendship and go from there.
“It is okay, Gra-”
Evelyn was caught off guard but returned the kiss. A short and small hiss in frustration released between her lips when he pulled away but she calm down when she realized he wasn’t pulling away that much. She can already feel her face was burning up.
Proper. Kark.
He was the reason why that she decided she can’t do one night stands. When it was over, it hurts, knowing that there was no relationship or commitment.
But to her, he was also familiar. He had already seen her and touched her. Kark. There was no privacy between them. In a way, she felt already exposed to Graham, even though it was ten years ago.
Proper.
This was a later Evelyn’s problem.
“I do not want to be proper.”
He kissed her again and didn’t pull away this time.
Fine then. Some things hadn’t changed and what a relief it was.
–
Sofila wasted no time. Suns, she wouldn’t even be surprised if she forgot to pack somethings but it was fine. This was… a bit of a last minute decision.
Graham was alive. She… didn’t know what to think. Concerned and excited. Cole loved and looked up to Graham.
But what if Graham was going to get him back to the old ways? She made it to the room that Cole was staying at and knocked on the door.
<@432543120635461643>
Cole opened the door a few moments later.
“Hey.” On seeing it was her, he stepped aside to let Sofila in, closing the door firmly behind her and latching the locks out of habit.
It was all weird. As if the day was a dream except it wasn’t. It had all happened. Graham had been alive. They’d talked through a lot but the weight of that was almost as crushing as the elation was uplifting.
Sofila didn’t waste a moment as she dropped her bag and pulled him into a hug and refused to let go.
Cole wrapped his arms around her, pulling Sofila close against him and burying his face into her shoulder.
Usually he was more restrained with hugs but for once he didn’t care.
He needed this.
Sofila rested her the side of her head against his and remained quiet as they stood like this for awhile.
~
After some time, they both broke free. She had so many questions. And she still wanted to punch Graham in the face. But first, her focus was Cole.
“Would it be too much for me to ask questions right now?”
Cole considered it for a moment before shaking his head, shifting to slip his shoes off at least.
“No.”
“It’s been five years, why did he never contact you? Or try to find you? Is he going to try to bring you back into that life?” Sofila quickly blurted out, it seemed that it was stewing in her mind for a while and she just had to get it out.
“He was scared I would pull him back in. And then…” Cole started to speak, rather heavily sitting on the edge of the bed. He scratched at his beard.
“He thought I was dead Sof.”
“Oh.” Sofila paused. Wait. So Graham was worried that Cole would’ve brought him back into that life? Maybe she didn’t have to worry about Cole being part of it again after all. She’ll have to see.
And five years. No contact. Nothing. All because he believed Cole was dead. Kark. Must been an emotional moment for both of them. Sofila silently sat down by his side.
There was so much more. She was also worried about Zuza. Someone needs to tell her. Sofila could do that. But not right now. She wanted to be here for Cole. Her hand reached out and gently grasped the one that was scratching his beard and interlaced their fingers. She leaned down and gave a soft peck on his cheek.
“That explains why.. you didn’t know all this time.” Sofila brought her other ahnd around and gently run her fingers through his hair.
“Do you want me to grab some bottles from the bar or just.. cuddle?” She offered, wanting to help him. They both had different ways of processing things and using different things. It all depends on what it was to process and she had no idea what the kriff could possibly help him with the knowledge that his brother, the man he looked up to and loved, was alive.
“I don’t know.” Cole answered honestly, instinctively leaning into her touch and lowering his hand from his face but in the wake of it all..
Saying it out loud to someone who hadn’t seen him. It made it real in a way he hadn’t expected.
“I wouldn’t have… Kark. I told him all this but I- I wouldn’t have dragged him back into anything. I…” He looked down at his hands. His arms and legs, concealed beneath cloth that were ransacked with scars. Cole didn’t bother himself too much with the markings, there was little point but most of them were a stark reminder of how lost he’d been. How reckless. Messy. Grief had not been kind to him and it was written in his skin.
Icy eyes felt like they were burning once more. He scrunched them shut.
“He’s changed more than I have.”
Sofila frowned. Graham was worried that Cole was going to drag him back into that life? But then she started to remember how… cold Cole was when they were on missions before they got closer. She didn’t know what to say.
“Come here.” Her voice was soft as she gently brought her arms around him, scooted a bit more behind him, and pulled back a bit but he didn’t budge. She took the hint quickly and stroked his hair softly for his head to rest on her shoulder. Her fingers stroked his hair softly. Was it really Graham that changed or Cole has changed that he thinks Graham had changed? This was confusing. She can’t imagine how Cole felt.
“Changed, how?” Maybe talking about it would shed some light for Cole. To help him determine if he had changed or its just the shock of seeing Graham alive.
Cole shifted slightly to her touch, leaning in but not relaxing against her. He just… wasn’t relaxed.
How. How to even describe it?
“He was nervous and actually thinking through what he was saying for one. He.. never used to do that. Never used to speak against our father. And… I don’t know. Something about him just overall, how he holds himself seems different.” Cole paused, trying to work out what it was and when it clicked his expression shifted a few times. From processing to a sadness and then on instinct, to nothing.
“He was relaxed. Happy.” His tone had flattened, body stiffening ever so slightly. His brother being happy had felt wrong to see and the emotions spawned from that realisation were just too much. The wall came up and Cole could only watch as it all built up. A pressure to join the rest that pressed at the cracks of his very being.
Was… thinking what to say was so bad? Wasn’t that the whole thing that Cole was trying to teach her? She remained quiet and just listened as she gently stroked his hair. Silence fell into the room and Sofila just waited. It had been a tiring day for Cole so she was keeping her energy and thoughts down. He needed the quiet and peace. Then his body tensed and his tone.
No.
Anything but that tone. She was shocked that Graham being happy caused him to build up a wall they worked so hard for him to break. Cole was doing so good, lowering the walls until now.
“Cole, no. Don’t. Please-” She gently moved and mentally winced at his blank expression.
“Don’t do this. Talk to me. Please. What’s so wrong for Graham to be happy? What’s so wrong for you both to be happy?”
“It’s not.” He answered shortly, trying to drag everything back into order but-
Kark was he really such a monster that it had bothered him to see Graham just… casually happy? Why had that hurt?
That wasn’t fair.
It reignited all the questions all over again. Had getting away from them really been such a boon for Graham? Were…
Had it been…
Cole didn’t know how to deal with this, avoiding Sofila’s gaze with a hand over his face.
“It shouldn’t be.”
Sofila frowned, trying to understand where he was coming from. He looked so troubled. Was it because of Graham actually being alive or was there something more. His hand covered his face.
“Hey, let’s take one step at a time, okay?” She suggested.
“We can just hang out tonight, not talk about it. I can order us some food and drinks. And tomorrow, we’re meeting him together. Maybe just… seeing him one day at a time can help.” Kark. How the suns was she suppose to help with this? It’s not everyday when people that are supposed to be dead suddenly show up at the doorstep, alive and well.
It shouldn’t be.
Did he meant to answer that to what’s so wrong for them to be happy? Kark.
“If…. seeing him doesn’t make you happy right now, we can hold it off. Give you the time that you need. Cole… you deserve to be happy after everything.” She felt selfish but kark it, she wanted him to be at peace. It didn’t help that every now and then they would have a discussion of what’s normal and what’s not.
Cole didn’t know. It was a confusing jumbled mess and he didn’t know what to karking do with it.
“Him being happy shouldn’t…” Speaking it out loud made it worse and he trailed off. Were there better words? Did he even want her to know that that’s what had bothered him, though Sofila would likely work it out now anyway.
“Getting away from us made him happy.” It summarised the situation well enough. His tone was still stoney, hiding the pain. It had been bad but had it.. Kark. Did he even want to see Graham tomorrow?
He still has his claws in you.
Would he ruin Graham’s happiness? He didn’t want that. But their father, he couldn’t just act as if the man was a monsterous being that had ruined their lives or some kark.