Her breathing was stable. It was another quiet night save for the usual noises outside of the window.
——- Almost every night. Kark him. No. She was in control. This was her dream. It’s a reoccurring dream. She got this. She was strong enough. She knew this dream. Step by step. The smell of thick blood hit her nose. She could ‘taste’ the heaviness of iron. Next was going to be the pa- Sofila grimaced as a sharp pain was at her heart. She couldn’t move. Soon… those words-
“You will outlive Cole.” He reminded her. Her hues glanced down at the growing puddle of blood.
“The Fortress. It granted many non user powers. The Force. I can take you there. Take Cole there. He will become strong. And live as long as you.”
Sofila bit her cheek. Her eyes burned with tears that threatened to overspill. She was getting tired of this. She hated this. She doesn’t want to be reminded that she’ll be the one to bury Cole and continue on without him.
Then something new. She felt a force grab her face and pushed it up to look at Scimitar in the eyes. Her heart pounded in fear as she felt petrified.
“You will outlive your children.” Her eyes widen as a new pain erupted. She couldn’t breathe, no, don’t-
“Give in and I can help you, my child.”
Sofila snarled and pushed him away-
——-
Sofila woke up and glanced at her surroundings. She looked back to Cole as slowly and quietly as possible. He was safe. Sleeping. Alive. With a sigh of relief she turned around and screamed.
Scimitar face was inches from her. Sofila scrambled backwards, almost crawling over Cole in panic.
He hadn’t exactly been restful himself. Twitches in the dark. Whispers. Nothing true enough to grasp onto though it was about the best sleep he could get typically.
Then she screamed.
Sofila was practically on top of him, running away from something he couldn’t see yet but he didn’t care. Cole shifted up, grabbing her by the shoulder and pulling her back, behind himself.
His other arm came up in a defensive stance, prepared to take whatever blow was coming on the assumption he didn’t have time to launch an attack.
Except nothing was there.
Cole still kept a hold of her, but slowly looked back toward Sofila. She’d had a nightmare.
Hopefully.
Sofila felt an arm around her as she tensed but it was becoming clear as she steadied her breathing. Kriff. Kark. So like her to Kark things up. She grimaced when Cole looked back at her.
“Sorry…” she mumbled. Barely audible, “I- He- It-“ she was trembling so she quickly crossed her arms and tensed her body in attempt to stop it. It did not help any.
“Nightmare.” It…was new. It had never occurred to her. Was he actually here? No. They would’ve known if someone was here or broke in.
“And that’s okay.” Cole murmured, pulling her into his arms rather than behind him and leaning back against the headboard.
“I’m here. Just me.”
Sofila leaned heavily into his arms. She still looked around with her eyes, uncertain. There was a long silence.
“Scimitar needs to die as soon as possible.” She was tired. She wanted him gone. But will he be really gone from her mind when he’s finally defeated?
Well that explained the nightmare. Cole ran his hand down her back, watching the darkness as well but steadily accepting that the room was empty himself as well.
“He will.” Cole just hoped that the fear would fade with that. That she’d sleep better, feel safer. It happened that way sometimes, knowing the threat was over.
Then there was other times.
“You shouldn’t be afraid of him. He had to do so much to overpower you. And now we know better.” Cole raised a hand, cupping her cheek, “I can’t promise he won’t hurt you again but it’ll be the last thing he karking does. Because we will kill him.”
Sofila exhaled slowly and attempted to work on her breathing. Sofila winced softly, she wasn’t sure… if she was afraid of him. Maybe she was, especially what he can do. How much he knows about her.
And she hated it. His rough hands rested on her cheek and his touch had stilled her mind. Only for a moment. Even when Scimitar was finally gone… there was the fact that she had this knowledge and constantly it was taking everything she had not to act on it. To explore. Even dive into the research stations of Selen and Arx to find more answers.
“There’s… something else.” No backing out now. She can’t just say that and not say anything else.
“He’s been… or me? I’m not sure. Either way… I’ve been tempted to find out more about the Fortress… Children of Mortis I mean. People had reports of discovering Force powers from it and-” She exhaled and pulled away from him, to prepare for his reaction.
“I want to be selfish. I want to find out how and get back there and take you there so you can get the Force, so-” She grimaced. This all sounded so karkin’ hypocrite since she hated the Force and Cole has some…. not hatred but leeriness of the Force.
“So I won’t have to b-b-bury you-” She choked on her words as her hand went up to cover her mouth. She didn’t realize has strong her emotions were about it, caused her to quickly bite her tongue, she didn’t want to cry. Not now.
Cole’s expression softened but was pained. It was something he’d forcefully ignored, that she’d outlive him. It was too soon to think of such things but at the same time…
He shifted, his other arm wrapping around her and pulling Sofila close against him.
There weren’t any good words. Why had she hid this though? Well. No. No. She’d told him without him asking or even mentioning something more. This was better.
“Thank you for telling me.” He murmured after a long quiet. Hopefully it wasn’t a serious plan.
Sofila winced when he pulled her closer. Her breathing became shaky. She pressed up to him closer but she already was. It just feels like it’s not enough. Cole’s action to pull her close hurts her. Because it meant one thing. That it was confirmation. Why did she say it out loud? She didn’t want it to be karking real. Yet, she didn’t pull away. She did not want to. She was going through too much emotions and anger was right there, nipping at her heels. Angry at the unfairness.
Cole’s voice cut through the silence and she tensed. Another confirmation.
No. Unless…
“After… well. Once we have a kid and after a certain age, I can just….cut off the Force.” By that point, they should be taking on less dangerous missions. Or so she hoped. She wouldn’t need to rely on it so heavily anymore.
“Is that something that can be done safely?” Cole queried, a concerned frown pulling at his features.
Then it hit him.
“…You’d do that to..” He trailed off, uncharacteristic of him but the words wouldn’t come. Sofila was willing to shorten her own life to… Karking stars.
He held her a little tighter, a painful tug in his stomach.
Sofila didn’t know how to answer that. Because she didn’t know the answer. Just.. rumors and uncertainty. She almost said that it would be better to cut her off or she would certainly give into temptation to find a way back onto that realm. Her brows furrowed in confusion with his trailing off while she tried moved her head back slightly to be able to see his face but he held her a bit tighter. She did not protest.
“I would,” her voice sounded strong. Unwavering. She meant it. She was not going to bury Cole while she had to live for decades more or possibly, their own child if they do end up having one. It was one thing for a spouse to die a few years before or after but decades.. she can’t. She just can’t. Fear was gripping at her and her jar muscles tightened for awhile before she spoke.
“I can find more information later. I… don’t know the details. Just.. rumors. I don’t even know why Buir never did it as well. Or if he considered it. Let’s just… try to get more sleep if we can.” Sofila wondered if he would even be able to sleep.
“It has to be safe.” Cole stated, firm even as his voice quietened.
He couldn’t lose her like that either. Kark. What a mess they were.
“Sleep is good. We can work it out in the morning.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her head, closing his eyes for a moment. There was a strong part of him glad that the idea of implanting the Force into him seemed less.. certain. Gaining a power he only understood in the terms of defeating it was not a great idea. Espeically one that harmed those who gave into temptation to take more power.
It wasn’t a good temptation to have when he had so little left to protect.
Sofila had to fight everything she had not to tighten her jaw muscles. No. Even if it was a bit dangerous, she would still do it. It was a conversation for them at another time. She wasn’t even sure if it was possible. Her muscles relaxed slightly when he planed a kiss at the side of her head.
If it wasn’t possible to cut from the Force.. there’s still the thought of going to the Realm though… She squeezed her eyelids tightly. No. She needed to stop being selfish.
Something was off. More so than it had been. Sofila was tense under him, squirming and scrunching her eyes shut.
“Sof…”
Was it about it being safe?
Would she really risk her life and dying early and making him deal with that to not have to do the opposite? Was it the other idea, of dragging him to the Ethereal realm to grant him enough power to age more slower? Something else?
He didn’t know.
Sofila flinched at hearing her name. His tone meant that he knows that she was trying to hide something. Kark. Why can’t she be good at concealing things like he was? No. They were suppose to communicate more. Talk more. She pulled away and turned, her back facing him. There was a moment of silence as she shook her head.
“I’m- I- Kark. I’m just trying- I got angry at myself, okay?” She exhaled and her eyes went to the window. Just.. something to look at.
“I’m telling- Trying to tell myself to stop being selfish.”
He sighed ever so slightly, shifting to let her move but wrapped his arms around her once more when Sofila had settled.
“I don’t want to see you die either. We can work it out.”
“That’s the scary part.” Sofila murmured as she placed her arm on top of his and squeezed his hand.
“How far would you go?”
Cole frowned, glad she was unable to see the shift.
To see her live? That…
“Further than I should.” He murmured.
A part of him wondered if someday he’d be faced with that question again. Or forced to ask it. If he didn’t even know the upper limit for himself, how could Sofila know hers. The Ethereal Realm was… oh kark.
A uncomfortable feeling formed in his stomach. Would he really be able to tell her no?
Soflia exhaled a sharp ‘heh’ as she sighed heavily afterwards. She can’t do that. It was disrespectful of his boundaries. If other couples had to learn and just go on with their lives, they should too. Her hand squeezed his again, slightly regretting taking up on her job. She had been more busy. Not to mention, it’s slightly more dangerous. But it’s okay. She was just an Aedile. A faceless no one to the enemies at the moment.
She sniffled before scooting back a bit, to cuddle tighter with Cole and closed her eyelids. She’ll just have to change her mindset.
Live everyday to the fullest if she can.
Cole held her close, his mind active now. Would he abel to settle again?
Kark.
He did his best to settle, closing his eyes and trying to clear his thoughts enough to sleep again. She typically struggled to sleep when he was awake but… well. They’d have to see.
Of course. This was her fault. She should’ve kept her mouth shut. She moved gently as she could to change sides so she could be facing Cole. Her hand went up and started to give small scratches at his beard before leaning in for a kiss.
With a soft sigh at his lips, she grinned.
“I’m so karkin’ looking forward to this weekend. Just the two of us on an island.” She removed her hand and placed her arm on his side.
Cole returned it, gentle and slow but letting her lean away to talk. He might not have another night but the exhaustion was bearing down.
“Mm. It’ll be nice. Peace and quiet. We’ll be sick of it before we leave.” He chuckled softly, his hand on her shoulder pulling Sofila closer against him.