Morning came and Cole woke first though regrettably so. It didn’t take long for Sofila to follow, feeling the shifting of the mattress as they both groggily came to consciousness.
A couple glasses of water, and with Cole retrieving both of them breakfast, they were sat back on the bed in… better states than when it was initially left.
Cole leaned against the headboard, looking down at the half emptied bowl and wondering if he could just finish it in a little bit. The cereal would be soggy but it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’d ever eaten and his stomach was protesting after the ridiculously strong alcohol he’d consumed the night previous.
He jabbed at the offending food with the spoon.
“Karkin’ suns….” Sofila whispered as she grimaced. Everything was so bright and loud.
She didn’t want to tell Cole to stop but he needed to eat. Cereal was not the choice she would’ve made. “Here.” She offered some meats from her plate to help with Cole’s stomach.
He was regretting the choice.
Cole looked over at the movement as much as her voice, considering it before carefully taking the pieces proffered and holding them carefully. Leaving the spoon in the bowl he switched over to them, mumbling after a piece, “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
Sofila ate what she could and put the tray away. She turned back and snuggled up to Cole. For awhile, she remained quiet. Her fingertips traced his scars as she listened to his breathing and just take in his scent.
After a long while, “do… Cole, do I really make you happy?” She raised her head enough to look at his face.
Cole eventually put the bowl aside, just making his way through the pieces of meats, enjoying her touch, gentle against his chest.
On the scars.
It took a moment to register the question, looking down to meet her gaze. It was the easiest question she’d ever asked him despite the way his heart clenched. Despite the fears that came with and rose, screaming from the back of his mind.
“You do.”
Sofila smiled and sighed. “I..” Her brows furrowed. For Sofila, she was pretty quiet.
It was also part of the hangover.
“I haven’t been sure,” she whispered with hesitation, as she was afraid of breaking something.
Cole frowned, shifting his arm around her, pulling Sofila against him and resting his chin on her head.
“I.. don’t show it very well. But you do.”
He wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Mmmm.” She closed her eyelids and rested.
Then the loud beep of her datapad jolted her.
“Kark,” hissed Sofila as she went looking for her datapad. It wasn’t coming from the one on the nightstand.
“My head hurts, kark. I’m never drinking that much again…” Sofila grumbled while looking for the other datapad and failing.
“I make no promises.” Cole grumbled, remaining in place.
Why was it- wait.
Cole sat up, suddenly more alert. Her spare datapad was the one Castor could message her on. It didn’t do anything else.
He watched carefully, concern deeply set into his features.
“Found it-” She opened it and frowned.
“What?” She seemed to be in disbelief as she set the datapad on the bed and reached for the one on her nightstand. Cole asked as she hurrily waved her hand to show he can read it.
Sofila, Serpens called off the hit. I'll see what I can find out. Stay safe.
“That’s… concerning.”
Cole frowned, placing the datapad back where she placed it. It occured to him this could be the karker backing off from killing a woman who he’d long since abandoned and had no need to track down but it was a quickly discarded fleeting thought. To place a hit in the first place spoke to this man’s capacity for sanity.
“Good, that you won’t be actively searched for by the public but it likely means he has found an alternate method. Or something worse…”
“And that Castor doesn’t know why either. I - Kark. My head.” Thinking through foggy brain was hard. She needed something.
She sat at the edge of the bed. While she scrolled and scanned different areas, she was quiet.
“It’s… gone. It’s really gone. I thought I would be happy when it happens but kark. I’m scared.”
Of course, she wants to go run. Fight. Something.
Her head hurts too much. She groaned as she placed the datapad at her side and rubbed her head.
Cole shuffled up beside her, settling and wrapping an arm around her.
“Nothing we can do about it today. You’ll just have to wait for Castor and stay within the bounds of the Brotherhood. The Citadel, Ol'Val.. The Voidbreaker ideally, hard to board a vessel that’s space faring more often than not.” He paused, sighing softly after.
“At least long enough that your head doesn’t hurt.”
It was hard not to notice how she kept clutching her temple.
Now she was angry.
Protection.
She doesn’t need protection.
Her jaw tightened. She was not weak.
“Yea.” Was all she could say without losing her temper. True to her usual self of dodging topics, “I’ve heard of a … drink that can help null the hangover effects faster…. we can do that.”
Cole wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong but she was tensing. He could feel it in her back, the way she straightened up. Something he’d said but.. what. Did she not want to stay where they lived? It just meant no trips anywhere off like they before seeing Foxen and Flyndt. Staying low. It wasn’t that unusual to.. do that was it?
“..Okay.”
He wasn’t going to let it go but he didn’t want to argue. She thought she didn’t make him happy. He was still kriffing hurting her and he didn’t know how to stop. Did he just let this go? But what if he lost her because she just went off somewhere-
Weak. This is worthless. Stupid. She’ll get herself killed and then what would you do? Every other connection like this has gotten you hurt and it still is. Still weak, failing.
He tried to bite back the rising anxiety, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting himself look around the room again. Just with his eyes, but it was enough to ease himself.
“Alright,” responded Sofila as she got up and started pacing. It was slower than her usual pacing. She sent a holocall to the desk. After a bit of chatter, Sofila got them some caf, a drink with juice and alcohol, and some more greasy food along with toast.
Sofila sat down by Cole and exhaled slowly.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t let that ruin my attitude.” She gently reached for Cole’s hand and intertwined their fingers.
“Thank you for coming to the festival with me Cole, it means a lot.”
“Its a shock.” Cole commented, letting her link their hands and holding on.
He shrugged at the following comment, not trying to dismiss her but.. it was just a festival. It shouldn’t have been a big deal that he went with her at all.
“I’m glad you had fun.”
“Yea.” Sofila whispered as they sat there in silence. What was Serpens doing? What is he planning? Did he really back off?
She glanced off to the side and looked for a distraction.
The glasses.
Sofila laughed softly, “I’m sorry for trying to steal them…”
Slowly, she was starting to remember everything last night.
“You were free to take them, you were the only one who thought you were stealing.” Cole chuckled lightly, running his thumb over the back of her hand.
Sofila smiled at his chuckle. This was better.
She then playfully pouted, “She said I only can take them cause I nailed that handstand.”
Then a bit of a pause.
“Which was a dumb idea now I think about it,” Sofila grimaced at remembering her determination of showing Cole that she was spicy.
“Yes that absolutely was the only reason and not just to get you to do something amusing.” Cole spoke deadpan, an eyebrow raised.
“It was a bit. You wanted to prove you were… spicy?” He asjed, still a little perplexed by the concept.
“Oh my suns,” Sofila rubbed her face. She was hoping he didn’t remember that part.
“Mmm. Yea.” She leaned in and kissed his jaw line softly.
“I suppose that was a bit bold.” The door knocked and Sofila thought she can escape from it now. She can hear the droid rolled away. Opened the door, the drinks and food had arrived. Grabbed the tray carefully, she closed hte door and locked it along wit the deadbolt.
“Hangover cures are here,” Sofila mumbled as she placed it on the dresser drawer.
Cole stood, crossing over to her to get.. something. Maybe. He wasn’t sure he wanted more to eat yet. He didn’t press the whole spicy thing, unsure anyway and kriff, it really didn’t matter.
He grabbed a slice of toast so she didn’t worry. And then noticed the caf and got a mug of that too with a good bit more interest.
Taking a sip, Cole wandered back to sit on the bed again.
Sofila let out a soft hmm as she tried the drink and grimaced.
“This is… different.” She cleared her throat and grab toast as well. She nibbled the toast before glanced over to Cole.
“Did… I get you in trouble with Zuza? I … remember that glare she gave you.”
“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it.” Cole pointed out gently, taking a large drink from the cup. It was bitter but it was hot and there was something to caf that just… was good.
He hummed, shrugging, “A little but it’s Zuza. She doesn’t like people worrying about her so.. me telling you about taking her for food and then you sending her food for weeks is… Well. I don’t think you’d like it if someone did that.”
Sofila was taken back by him pointing out that she wouldn’t like it.
Then she grumbled.
He had a kriffin’ point.
“I wouldn’t- ah. Kriff. I would hated it but… ugh.” She exhaled. She can’t be a hypocrite but she just does want to help others. Then she smiled softly.
“I didn’t know you two were so close to know that much about her.”
Cole smiled ever so slightly at her realising, glad that it wouldn’t happen again at least.
“Oh- Yeah. We… were close.”
He suddenly felt awkward and couldn’t really pin… why.
Because it was already proven that you can’t do this kist. She’ll see.
“We dated. Only for a year before everything happened and that was five years ago. She doesn’t seem to have changed too much though.”
Sofila paused for a moment.
“Oh.”
Then followed by, “Oh. Huh. That explains.. ah… a bit.” She frowned. Kriffin’ suns. That would’ve complicated everything. A woman he dated, maybe even loved, killed his brother.
And their spar, when she thought Cole was going to-
Kark. She cleared her throat. There was no jealousy hinted from her. More so confusion if anything.
“…Even if we didn’t we’ve known each other a long time.” He continued after an awkward pause, “I was about twelve the first time we met. She was with her dad and just decided to say hi. I was picking something up but wasn’t in a rush so when this kid just walks up to me- Well I stopped. We hung out for a few minutes and then she went off and we just kept meeting like that for years.”
He kept himself still mostly, taking another bite of toast but purposefully containing the awkwardness.
Sofila placed the half empty glass on the table and was starting to feel better. Less groggy and bleh. Physically at least.
“That’s pretty cute.” Sofila smiled softly. She sat by Cole and leaned back and rested on the bed, her eyelids closed.
Cole let himself relax. Okay. This was fine then.
He allowed himself to smile slightly, “I guess. My father didn’t like her. Too wild. That definitely hasn’t changed but…” Cole shrugged again, drinking more of his coffee.
Sofila tensed and mentally rolled her eyes. Of course, that man woudn’t like Zuza.
His father.
She bit her cheek. Don’t say anything. He’s dead. No need to bring that up and cause issues. They were having a decent morning, besides the message from Castor.
It does give her a small pride knowing that Trevor would certainly not like her if he didn’t like Zuza.
Cole was relaxed still, finishing the coffee and placing the emptied mug off to the side with the remaining toast before shifting to look toward her for a moment, before away again.
The spar. He’d almost killed her. He’d apologised but he hadn’t changed either really. Had he? It was hard to tell.
“A lot has changed though. For the better I think mostly but something’s different. She could probably say the same though, she was worrying about me. You knew.”
He knew one of the things that had changed for her. The fear in her eyes when he’d grabbed her neck. Zuza had explained that enough and the scars on her arms in the weeks prior alluded to torture. She’d never been able to stomach witnessing torture so going through it… There wasn’t much he could do to help but it didn’t sit right with him.
Sofila’s hand reach out and gently touched Cole’s arm as she brushed his skin with her knuckles gently while he talked.
He does talk more when she’s quiet.
Then her eyelids opened as she turned to look at him. Something was bothering him.
“Cole?” Sofila called out to him softly, “What is it?”
“Did you know she was tortured?”
Sofila sat up and looked at Cole, her brows furrowed as she tried to think the past few months.
A lot had happened since then. War included.
“When?”
“Few months before the war. When all the kidnappings happened from the Collective. And the Children.”
Sofila flinched and winced at the memory.
“No. I didn’t know.” She exhaled sharply. Anger was starting to build as she exhaled sharply and glanced away.
If Zuza and her was a like in some ways, Sofila would hide hers which meant-
Oh. Zuza.
Kark.
Sofila groaned as she fell back onto the bed again, now frustrated.
How can she help those that she cares about and loves?
“The scars were fresh. I saw them once. I knew she was kidnapped from the reports but they didn’t go into details except that she was extracted and then went to help extract Sivall, the Chiss woman that joined around when you did.” He sighed.
“She could never stand torture. Hearing about it, watching it. That’s why she ran away. She couldn’t even see it happen to..” He trailed off, steadying himself and starting again, “I’m not sure what they did to her but I’ve only seen her truly scared twice and once was when Graham attacked her. The other was during our spar but that- It was as much grabbing her neck as it was me losing control.”
He realised how much he was saying and stopped. Cole exhaled slowly, intertwining his fingers to keep them still. Sit straight. Calm.
“I’m not sure if confronting her would help. But I’ve noticed the change.”
Kark.
Sofila had so many kriffin’ questions. But he was talking. Something she wanted him to do so they can get to know each other more. Connect a bit more. And more importantly?
Bond more. Hopefully. She wasn’t sure. She always believe communication was important.
Despite how one-sided it can be from both of them most of the time.
She needed to be careful. She can’t ask all of the questions at once so she’ll just have to hope that eventually her other questions can be answered at a later time. She decided to focus on the more important one.
“What do you think would help?”
“I’m not sure.” Cole answered, frowning at the floor. “She was always the one good with people. So was Graham.”
He had no idea where even to start.
Well. That gave her few ideas but she wasn’t sure if they would work. She’ll just have to try. Sofila sat up from the bed and her hand slid down his forearm and grasped his hands gently. She leaned to the side and gave him a peck on the cheek with a soft smile.
“I’ll figure out something.”
His arms were tense, holding himself in place as he was. But Cole turned his head toward her and rested his forehead against hers, fingers intertwining with hers as well.
“You’ll do better than me.”
Sofila’s small smile stayed on her face. Her free hand reached up and gently stroked his stubby hair on his cheek before going back to his hair.
“Sometimes you don’t need people skills to help others. You’ve been helping me.”
“I’m glad. At least its going both ways.”
He leaned slightly into her touch, eyes closing for a moment but soon back to paying attention again. “Just tell me if it ever isn’t. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Even though I know I do. You’ll lie now but I know.
Sofila paused in her movements and watched him carefully. She knew she can’t lie. He would find out. Either right away or very soon. He could read her lie a book.
“I will. Will you do the same? And Cole, you won’t hurt me.”
Not intentionally.
Her hand went back to brushing his hair as she kissed him softly and shortly on the lips before pulling back and waited for his answer.
I already have.
“I will.” He responded softly, still holding her hand with one but slipping his free hand round the side of her neck, his fingers slipping into her hair at the back. He looked into her eyes for a few moments.
Cole truly hoped she would.
He kissed her, letting his eyes fall shut. It wasn’t as rough as many of their kisses were, just gentle. Longer lived than hers had been but keeping the same softness.
Sofila’s lips curved into a warm smile.
Will you really?
Her eyeids closed while she finds herself lost in the kiss and his touch.
Evelyn stopped crying a while ago. She didn’t have anymore tears to spare. There was no other noises in the hospital room save for the hum of the lights and few footsteps passing outside of the door. A nurse had came by few hours ago to make sure she was healed. The nurse informed both they will have privacy during the night and Evelyn was to be discharged in the morning.
Evelyn was being held by Graham. Usually, she would mind but not tonight. She had some questions buzzing around in her mind.
“I really thought you would take her,” Evelyn started. Her voice was quiet and a bit hoarse from the screaming during the birth and crying afterwards.
“I’m glad you didn’t, I’m just- I’m inquisitive. From what little I heard, your family is very family oriented.”
“…We are.” Graham responded after a long moment. “But I’m not ready.”
He rubbed the back of his neck with his free arm.
“She can have better than what we can give her.”
For awhile he didn’t answer. Evelyn didn’t press. If he didn’t want to answer, it was okay.
But then he did.
Evelyn wasn’t sure on his answer of her having it better. Farrows were not to be messed with. The child would’ve had protection from the entire family and it’s members. From the way Graham looked at her for those few minutes, he already loved her. She would’ve been loved. One answer was important, that he wasn’t ready.
“That’s fair. I thought it was going to be a case of you not agreeing with your father, how you were raised, or something akin to it.”
“We were raised fine for the life we live.” Graham spoke firmly. “Doesn’t mean I’d wanna raise a kid the same. The family is in a better place now, more secure than we were when me and Cole were kids. Our father forgets that. I wouldn’t cause its a different situation. She’ll be fine anyway. No ones gonna know she’s ours so no one will go after her. She’ll be fine.”
He swallowed hard, trying to convince himself as much as her.
He did love Myla. Even if it was just for that moment.
She’ll be fine.
Twice.
That did not escape her notice. Luckily, she had no more tears to shed. She was so beautiful. Myla had her grandfather’s silver eyes with the blonde hair from Graham. Evelyn didn’t want to look at Graham. It would just… made things more difficult so she was content resting on him and looking at the bare hospital wall.
“I did wonder on the environment considering your brother scares me.” Then she paused, remembering their night several months ago. “You do too.” Evelyn shifted to become a bit more comfortable.
“When the day arrives you decided you are ready, are you-” She frowned, wondering how to phrase this. She felt the increasing need to protect.
“I won’t take her away from the only thing she knows.” Graham answered thr question, knowing it was coming.
“We should scare you. I’d be more worried if you didn’t. We were both taught to shoot to kill, how to fight, what death looks like, what killing feels like all before we were ten.” He spoke seriously, eyes on the door but the corridor was empty. Quiet. “I wouldn’t change it, either. Not for me.”
Evelyn relaxed when Graham confirmed he wouldn’t bring Myla into that life.
She’s safe.
Evelyn’s jaw tightened.
It made perfect logical sense and she can see why Mr. Farrow raised his sons in such environment. To prepare them.
The world isn’t always so kind.
Evelyn was now very glad that Myla wasn’t going to have that life. Instead, at ten, she should be playing with her favorite dolls. Having her favorite sweets.
Kark… what would be her favorite sweet? Would she like dolls or go for something more vechiles? Would she even like flying like her mother? Or fighting like Graham? She pushed that thought aside.
“And for Cole?”
“He had the same upbringing as me.” Graham answered, hesistating as he realised what she probably actually meant. “He wouldn’t. I don’t think anyway. We don’t talk about stuff like this, kriff, I usually don’t. It’s playing pretend and I don’t do that kist. It’s our life.”
He sighed after a long few moments.
“What about you?”
Not wrong. It was their life.
Evelyn had no qualms. It wasn’t hers to worry about and not their daughter’s either.
Stillness and silence filled the air again. She didn’t mind. Her eyelids closed while she rested by him.
’What about you?’
“Will work for Kadnikov as their contract pilot for a bit longer. Then I’ll see. I never had path or direction. Being shoved out really put things into perspective.”
She paused for a moment before adding, “I grew up with people who made me and raised me but it wasn’t family. People talk about home a lot. I never got that feeling or understanding of that word.”
“Not really much room for a kid.” he noted, “Maybe you will. If you like flying free though it won’t be with me and as hot as you are, even if you were interested I’m..”
He trailed off, shaking his head.
“I’m not ready.”
“No. And I don’t see myself as a moth-“ she stopped herself.
She gave birth, yes, but it doesn’t make her a mother.
“I’m…not sure. I think I need to be grounded. To find things. Rules and direction. Maybe I’ll join a military,” Evelyn joked and sighed.
“Hm.” She finally moved back enough to look at Graham. He’s so handsome. She kept her hands to herself. He had brought up that she was hot a few times and proven it that night. It was…nice. Different. Unexpected. If not a bit scary.
“I love you, Graham. Not like… partners. But as a man I respect and father of our child. If… that made sense. Though I trust you that once we leave this room, if we find ourselves in opposite forces, no hesitation. For your family.”
She gave him a small sad smile, “Maybe in another life, we would find home.”
He gave her a gentle squeeze. She was right. It’d hurt but if she was on the opposite side of a field to Cole or his father he would end her. Quickly but no hesistation.
“Maybe. But that’s just pretending. It wouldn’t be in that but.. for us now. I.. well. Maybe another life, yeah.”
Graham sighed softly, rubbing her shoulder.
It was a strange thing to think about, what happiness could be in another life for them. One with Myla maybe.
Evelyn had nothing else to say as she shifted back to rest her head on his shoulder. She was drained and exhausted but her mind was spinning.
Soon, sleep had taken ahold of them.
———————
Dressed, fully healed, and discharged, she made her way to her ship. She stopped for a moment and looked over to Graham, “Want me to drop you off anywhere, sir?”
“I have my own ship but thank you ma'am.” He answered in kind, unsure if it was a joke of an attempt to ignore what was between them.
It felt like a cliff, frankly.
“Safe travels, yeah?” Graham held one arm up, offering a hug if she wanted.
Evelyn didn’t move for a moment before she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him.
“Thank you for showing up and not leaving me afterwards.” She felt she should thank him. She could’ve been alone all night but she wasn’t. They grieved together.
Graham wrapped both arms around her, resting his head on top of hers for a moment.
“It’s the least I could have done.”
He held it for a moment before pulling away, looking down at her for a moment and stepping back. Away. Two goodbyes in such a short span of time. The Farrow hadn’t expected either of them to hurt this much but it did.
When he pulled away, Evelyn didn’t want to look at him anymore so she turned around and got into her ship.
Hopefully, there will be no more painful goodbyes for her future.