The transport back to Selen was as non-descript, stressful and quiet as it could be. The remnants of war made it feel disrespectful to speak loudly and drinking was to forget rather than celebrate.
It didn’t particularly feel like a success to the those who weren’t in the throne room. Hundreds who didn’t die among the thousands died trampled under foot in the evacuation to escape in time. It was hardly a victory march. Yet, Estle was normal when Kerissa stepped out of the shuttle. The mountainous city was loud and brash, the sun warming what skin was on show below her robes and the air clear of the humidity in the jungles below. It stank of people and food rather than smoke and blood. The cries were of joy at people reuniting with their loved ones.
Kerissa found her way out of the crowd. There was no one she was expecting to greet her, the only people she knew had a family or were present at the battle. Shed seen Savi on the ship though and hesitated leaving too quickly, looking back over the crowd for the familiar mane of feathers.
Her hands were gloved, a thin pair of mittens that didn’t allow for much movement but considering how numb they were, how much they shook still, it stopped her from catching her fingers without noticing. The blackened veins from the dark side were just below the hem of the sleek fabric. Itd get better.
If there were anyone there who understood what it was like to have no one in particular waiting for them, it was Savi. There was Severin, they supposed, but things had been … strained between them for a while now, and they hardly expected him to be waiting for them when they returned from the frontlines. Everyone else that cared about them had been a part of the war itself and were all thankfully accounted for. This conflict was another drop in the proverbial bucket of battles that Savi had participated in over the decades. Thankfully, they’d long since numbed themselves to the horrors of war that often claimed the mental health of novice and veteran soldiers alike. A deep breath was all it took for them to introduce some calm to the persistent, buzzing energy that churned in their core–a holdover of the surge of adrenaline they’d relied on to carry them throughout the entire war. The fighting was over, now.
Amber eyes homed in on a familiar lavender-skinned woman standing amongst the Arconan rank-and-file, and Savi felt a familiar warmth loosen the grip their post-battle nerves had on their mind. They wouldn’t delay their approach any longer. Doing their best not to seem too eager to approach the Kessurian mix, Savi strolled across the field and lifted a hand to catch her attention. “Are you as glad that’s over as I am?” they began, unsure of another way to start their conversation in light of everything that had just unfolded.
Savi’s eyes drifted to the mittens Kerissa wore and their expression darkened a bit. It came as no surprise that the woman had relied on her Force lightning to defend herself; it was one of her best weapons, after all. But at what cost?
Kerissa laughed ever so slightly, stress straining her features but relieved that Savran was all the same anyway despite what they’d just been through. “I think I might be.”
Their gaze cast downward and Kerissa followed instinctively, her gloved hands the only thing that would likely have drawn attention. The shaking was visible. She didn’t linger, nor comment on it. It wasn’t like Savi to shy away from saying something that they felt like saying. Or pointing out. It’d come up whenever they felt like it.
“You got somewhere to stay on planet? My apartment isn’t far, just down in the Huascar Ring.”
It was the highest of the three tiers that made up Estle City before one arrived at the peak of it, the Citadel. It was where hospital and universities, archives all were seated but there were accommodations for those working within those facilities. Kerissa wasn’t consistently a visitor, often opting for the Shadow Academy’s primary location on Arx but the archives here were more than favourable too. Zujenia and Kordath had helped her get set up. It was expensive but the pay for being a clan member wasn’t bad.
Savi had every intention to address the woman’s stigmata, but only once they were somewhere more private. So, they were relieved when they suggested going to her apartment. “I don’t, yet, no,” they admitted before looking around at their surroundings. All around, returning soldiers reunited with friends and family. It was … nice to see, but it left the Shani feeling a tinge of bitterness in their core.
“It appears that there’s a spot in the clan open for me, though, should I desire it.”
It wasn’t the worst idea that’d been presented to them, recently. It would give them a permanent place to live and a more stable employer. Plus, being closer to their friends didn’t hurt, either.
“Let’s go to your place, for now.”
“There better kriffing be after everything we just went through with you right here.” Kerissa stated, her tail flicking but the appendage was in its usual spot wrapped round her thigh. It had been out during the combat, risking it for having her balance fully in check but with no need and far too many people in a small space shed tucked it away again.
“Yeah, if you do decide to join up you’ve still gotta be assigned accommodations and everything else they do. It’ll be a much shorter trip to my place than that.” She laughed lightly, giving the crowd one last glance over with a bitter pang in her heart before turning away.
The trip down to the ring and her apartment didn’t take long. The apartment itself wasn’t the most conveniently placed but it had good proximity to most amenities.
They arrived. It took Kerissa a minute of fumbling with the keys, her fingers numb and the mittens making individual grip harder to manoeuvre the key, she eventually swung the door open. She stepped in and held it open behind her with her foot so Savi could follow.
Kerissa’s apartment was small, a kitchen attached open plan style to a small living room that they walked into upon entering and a short hallway their left that had the open doors of her bedroom and bathroom.
The place wasn’t too untidy. A layer of dust had formed in the time they’d all been away. Not that there were many furnishings to have litter on, just a small sofa with a box acting as a table in the living room space but there were holos piled up on it. Papers tucked carefully between them with notes. There was a pile of dumped items in the corner that Kerissa dumped the bag with her armour in onto with a relieved sigh. The walls were bare though there was a string taped down on one of them in a very straight line.
“Apparently there were bigger ones but I didn’t exactly have much stuff to fill this with.”
The sofa had been a lucky grab safe to say.
Kerissa’s words brought to mind the conversation Savi had had with Foxen before the war started. He had spoken the truth when he said that people in their line of work were largely considered expendable. To most, they were just weapons to be wielded against their employers’ enemies … against the Clan’s enemies. And as far as Savran was concerned, the summit’s choice to offer them a spot within Arcona was nothing more than a practical decision; it made sense to keep a such a valuable asset close by. It made them easier to control. Or so they thought.
“It wouldn’t surprise me if they hadn’t offered me anything, though,” they mused allowed while they walked.
When they arrived at her apartment, Savi took a moment to look around. It was simple almost on the verge of being empty, which made sense in light of the details of Kerissa’s past that she’d shared with them. It was no different than how their own place would look once they moved onto Selen.
“It’s nice,” they said, expression brightening when they looked at her. “We can always find more things to occupy the space as time goes on. Been a while since we went shopping.”
“We should go!” Kerissa responded enthusiastically, “I don’t know where to even start so I’ve been avoiding it, honestly. Never really had a space to decorate before, never mind a whole apartment.” She laughed lightly, slipping her shoes off before she got any further in and throwing the toward the front door.
“Now you know where it is, you can come over whenever. Just need to let me know so I can let you in.” She grinned at them, walking to the kitchen area and pulling a pair of glasses out of a cupboard and filling them with water.
Savi followed suit, taking their shoes off and placing them neatly near the door before turning to follow. On the way, they extended their arms in different directions to stretch, causing a few audible pops to echo out into the mostly quiet room.
“It’s another date, then,” they smiled while entering the kitchen. “And something tells me that I’ll be over here a lot.”
Savi took their place next to her near the counter and remained silent while watching her fill the glasses. Specifically, though, they watched her hands, observing how well she could move them.
With the mittens on it obscured the fingers individually and how they moved but there was a shake over all. Kerissa was using her whole hand to do movements that only required the fingers and was moving far more slowly. Water still splashed outside of the glass.
She sighed when it did but tucked her elbows in, managing to get the rest done without spillages but frustrated.
Her eyes found Savi’s after passing over the cup and could feel it coming.
“Go on.”
Savi wasted no time in doing so.
“Your hands … let me see them,” they intoned. It was a request, but it’d come out with a more demanding tone than they intended. Given the nature of the conflict they’d both survived, Savi could scarcely imagine the amount of damage Kerissa’s arms had taken from her lightning. The fighting was over now, so their only concern was her wellbeing.
Kerissa sighed but plucked the mittens off of her hands, letting them drop onto the counter.
The veins covered the palms of her hands but had retreated to just the hands themselves now, only a few faint tendrils still clinging onto the wrist. Her fingers were blackened as if from a gradient from the very tips of each digit which lacked all their natural dull purple hue.
“It’s bad. I know.”
Savi’s lips pulled into a thin line when they saw the extent of the damage. Resisting the urge to snatch Kerissa’s hands toward them, the Shani instead extended two fingers to gingerly touch the lavender skin lying just beyond the blackened stigmata’s reach. They were careful not to touch them directly lest they hurt her. The subtle pull of tender sentiment tugged at the back of their mind as they examined their friend in silence. Only when that gentle nudge started to feel more like a push did they speak; that would be enough to distract them from feelings they weren’t ready nor presently willing to acknowledge.
“You did what you had to do.”
It was the truth, yet it was delivered in a perfunctory tone whose suddenness would surely clue Kerissa into the fact that it was a facade–a haphazardly mounted defense meant to distance themselves from the growing haze of concern that loomed just beyond their mental sanctum.
After taking the glasses from Kerissa’s hands and setting them on table, Savi extended their own tattooed hands outward with their palms up so Kerissa could place her hands on top of them. “Come,” they entreated, voice still distant yet notably softer, now. “Let’s get these taken care of.”
Kerissa looked up, meeting Savi’s gaze for a moment before looking back to their hands.
“It’s hard not to rely on it.”
The dark side was always there. Whispering. She knew it better than most things, the one consistency in her life really. Even if the muddled mess of memories that was her mind couldn’t recall much, the dark side’s presence was there. Stepping away from it and into the light was terrifying.
She sighed softly but took their hands.
“Trust me, I understand,” they replied, “There was a time when I relied on Force rage more than I should. The damage was … extensive. I’ve learned to mitigate the effects with stim injections when I use it these days.”
Savi took turns with each hand, enclosing it with their own and focusing on mustering the Light Side of the Force to invoke their healing abilities. A pale-yellow glow shone faintly from their hands as the ability kicked in.
“We need to find you something that you can use as a supplement. That way you can take care of yourself better.”
Kerissa let out a slow shaky breath when Savi healed the first hand. They hadnt hurt but the shaking made them tense, made then sensitive. Having the sensation back completely was a relief in itself as well. She curled each finger individually, touching it to her palm before relaxing her hand on the counter.
There was a less notable reaction to the second healing but Kerissa was still relieved. It always worried her when this happened. After all she had no idea when the last time would be.
“A supplement. I’m not really sure what I’d swap it out for.” She frowned, considering “Something to work out though, yeah. Even if it wasn’t hurting me, I’d still want to.. put space between me and the dark.”
They shook their head while continuing their work. “Not swapping it out but using something to help reduce the effects. Like bacta, for example.”
Once their work was done, Savi spent a few moments carefully massaging any tension out of her hands and fingers by pressing their thumbs into the flesh and pulling her fingers to pop them. “But, reducing your reliance on the Dark Side wouldn’t hurt, either. I’ve spent a lot of time learning to cultivate a balance between them. I could show you.”
“I… I’d like that. I’ve been trying for years but I’ve never met anyone I’ve trusted or been able to stay around long enough to.. Well. Learn. All I know is the dark. Its almost a comfort but it’ll.. kill me one day.” She sighed, closing her eyes through the massaging. Kriff that was a relief as well. One she didn’t realise she needed or wanted. A smile crossed her lips.
“Bacta hasn’t helped much before. Stops the shaking a little but the numbness doesn’t fade any faster.”
Kerissa’s words sent a chill up Savi’s spine.
‘It’ll kill me one day.’
They hesitated in their message for a moment and swallowed hard in an attempt to wash away the discomfort they felt at the thought. Then, they shook their head before continuing. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to keep me around to take care of you in the meantime. It may be a while before you train up another skill to the level of your Force lightning.”
“I can throw shit really well. I’d probably say it’s equivalent but it’s not really.. as final. I suppose that’s not a bad thing.” Kerissa sighed softly.
“I don’t mind needing you around more often. If you’re going to be starting working with Arcona, we can work this kriff out together. I’m looking at it and it’s a mess. Same for all the clans.”
Savran pondered her words for a moment. “Then, we’ll just have to find a way to make it less detrimental for you to use it.”
After finishing with her hands, Savi moved up a forearm, diligently kneading their fingers into the muscle while they spoke. “I’d like that. You’re good company, Kerissa. Far more fun than most I’ve met.”
“Or maybe I just throw people really far away.” Kerissa suggested with an amused smile. The tension had left her shoulders.
“If I had a drink I’d toast to that.” She laughed softly, “I have got say, I did not expect things to be this way when I came here. I can’t imagine you did either all things considered. It’s nice, that we get a break of sorts… Well. When there isn’t a war.”
Though even if it was only dumb luck that had seen them both survive the Etheral Realm, Kerissa was okay with that.