The Justicar bristled as he entered the secured room. Not visibly, no, but it was there nonetheless. He had just gotten over the stabbing pain and accompanying groan of annoyance that went along with ‘Lord Justicar’.
“We wish you luck, Darth Renatus,” one of the senior archivists remarked before closing the outer doors. It made Thane twitch.
This too shall pass…
Maybe…
He hoped…
Possibly?
Shaking it off, the Firrerreo restored his focus upon the task at hand. Once the airlock had finished cycling, the inner doors hissed open and allowed Thane to enter. Others would be coming soon, though he wasn’t entirely sure who to expect. Not everyone liked a good mystery and of those that did…well, there were eccentrics amongst them. The Shadow Academy certainly wasn’t short on those.
He idly wondered how many bottles of Just Ice Distillery reserves he would have to send Alethia to assuage any issues that might spring up from the myriad of negative outcomes arrayed before him. Probably more than he wanted to.
Alas.
Thane sighed, his shoulders rising and falling dramatically alongside the suspiration, and he stared at ‘the thing’.
The thing was a box-shaped mechanical entity that stood as a true enigma. It resembled a perfect cube, composed of sleek, metallic panels with a glossy finish that reflects its surroundings. The surface itself was adorned with intricate patterns, featuring a blend of geometric shapes and circuits. Seams could be found, if one looked closely enough, that no doubt led to compartments and devices within.
“Reveal your secrets,” Thane muttered.
“We’ve been trying to get it to reveal its secrets for a while now,” Kamjin said as he took off his helmet. “Woah, didn’t mean to spook you. Alethia said you needed someone from the Shadow Academy to assist with a project.”
Thane stared blankly at Kamjin, moving his head only as much as necessary to get the man within his field of view. Other than that, he remained completely still. Even if he was screaming on the inside.
Suddenly, he found himself sending considerably fewer reserves Alethia’s way.
Kamjin beamed, oblivious of conflict within his former boss, “So what are you trying to learn from it?”
Kamjin leaned around Thane to try and fiddle with the engima box.
Lapifero found himself being unceremoniously carried into the room by two guards, which, being only one meter tall, was no impressive feat on their part. He reeked of spirits, spice, and stale cigaras. There was also a vague musk that surrounded him which suggested it had perhaps been several days since he had even touched water.
“Oi! Oi! This is a violation of my rights as a sovereign Alderaanian citizen! Ye think ye can just grab me off the streets? I understand that I entered into a contract with yer agency, which I had the graciousness to not ask be named in the contract, as a consultant on a case by case basis. And despite our credit standard being based on a fiat system that’s propped up by the Hutts, I fully planned to honor our agreement. I was simply choosing to spend a little bit of my retainer at the local watering hole before I came in. Is that a crime?”
The Kushiban kicked and struggled, black fur fell off in clumps where the guards gripped his arms. Finally they dumped him on the floor.
Lapifero laid there for a moment, sighing at his misfortune, then stood.
“So, what’s in the box?”
“I don’t recall having talking bunnies on Alderaan,” Kamjin said, pulling away from the box to look at the new arrival.
Bril Teg Arga’s promotion to the Researcher position within the Shadow Academy had come as a surprise, albeit an appreciated one. Ever eager to prove himself, when he caught word of a new research project that still had open spots for would-be researchers, he jumped at the opportunity. What he hadn’t expected was for a few of his fellow graduates to invite him out to the local cantina to celebrate. A worrying number of drinks had taught Bril how many drinks it took for him to completely lose track of his night. He woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. At least he had fresh caf to help put a little pep in his step.
“Why the frak are the lights in this hallway so bright?” he muttered to himself, “And who’s doing all the shouting?”
Bril took another sip of his caf after entering the room and gave a nod to those gathered in the room. He made a double take upon seeing Lapifero. Was that a talking rabbit? He really didn’t need to drink anymore…
Siv had arrived to the Academy on her own this time. Anything to not be stuck in her room thinking. So what did she do when she had heard about a new research project? She had jumped on the opportunity immediately and hopped on the next shuttle to Arx.
Fresh off said shuttle, she strode down the hallway to the room she had been directed to upon her arrival. Because her last trip to the campus had not been a great time, she hadn’t really familiarized herself with the layout of the Shadow Academy and still required directions. Because if that she was running a bit later than she’d like.
She entered the room silently, dressed in plain Brotherhood robes with her hair tied back as neatly as ever. However, her sanguine eyes were surrounded in dark, sleepless circles.
Sleep and her had… not been friends recently.
She stopped by Bril, the only familiar face in the room, and gave the Zabrak a soft smile. The Chiss woman then turned her attention back to the two men by a mysterious box, eyes watching closely at the interactions.
Bril smiled in kind when he noticed Sivall at his side. “It’s good to see you, Sivall. How have you been? I heard through the grapevine that you were knighted as well? Congratulations.”
His eyes widened when a wave of nausea hit him, so he turned his head to the side for a moment while holding a hand to his mouth. Thankfully, it passed. “Sorry. Long night.”
The Kushiban whirled on the stranger.
“I will have you know that my family can trace their lineage back on Alderaan for generations before Humans ever appeared!”
A patch of mangy fur fell from his arm as he pointed.
“But despite your disrespect, I will commiserate with you over the loss of our homeworld.”
Lapifero wailed.
“Oh, Alderaan! Home of so many. So many lives lost senselessly. Your planet-spanning oceans, your great open plains.”
Finally, he collapsed on the table, heaving.
The sky-blue woman went to respond but stopped and got wide eyed at Bril’s wretching. Instantly her hand went to his shoulder, clearly worried. The Zabrak gave his explanation and Sivall chuckled softly as her face softened.
“Ah, yes. Congratulations to you too. Might be wise to go easy on the alcohol in future.”
Her eyes flicked to look at the sentient sobbing bunny, raising an eyebrow.
Lapifero looked up from his wailing.
“Here boyo. Have some of this and one of these.”
The Kushiban slid a dented, tarnished flask across the table to the Zabrak as well as a thin brown cylinder that smelled of cheap tabac.
Marick Tyris Arconae chose that moment, apparently, to enter. He barely looked up from his datapad until the doors closed behind him and he seemed to immediately realize that there were others present beyond the one who had summoned him.
Great.
His bright blue eyes flitted mechanically around the room, taking in first the possible entrances, hiding places, and exits. Old habits for the former Voice, but as he sensed no obvious malice, he shifted his attention to the rooms occupants.
His eyes lingered on the strange Kushiban. He idly tapped a few buttons on his datapad to pull up the files on active Kushiban members, then tapped a few buttons quickly to filter down.
Lapifero. Limited data. Noted.
His attention shifted to the newer members that had been gathered. The Zabrak he knew from his files, an up and comer in the Ascendent Clan. The Chiss woman beside him was someone more familiar, though the two had yet to meet formally.
“Knight Zosi'val'ria,” he spoke, his voice a low, calm monotone. He pronounced the Cheunh name with practiced formality. “Or do you prefer your core name?” He seemed tired, but still carried himself with a refined professionalism as if he knew a camera was perpetually watching his every move.
“Knight Arga,” the Exarch added a quick greeting the Zabrak, his face remaining a neutral mask.
He glanced at Kamjin, blinked once at the Consul. “Kamjin.”
A pause, another blink, a slight shift of his eyes to the Justicar, “Ventus.”
He then looked at the box. “First query. Did you consider not tampering with it?”
He chuckled, knowing that this probably wasn’t the best showing after the two’s first meeting. “You know, I normally am not a social drinker, but my Academy promotion felt like a special enough occasion,” he admitted while rubbing the back of his neck, “A word of advice: never try to out drink a Lasat. It won’t end well.”
When the Kushiban raised a flask to him, Bril kneeled in front of him and took it. “Thanks, little guy,” he smiled and lifted a hand to quickly rub him on his head. Once he opened the flask and smelled it, though, he nearly went pale in the face.
“Oh, frak.”
He shoved the flask into Sivall’s hands before turning to the nearest potted plant and spewing his guts into it. “Sorry, I’ll buy a new one,” he announced to … no one in particular.
Marick blinked twice, but showed no other form of emotion on his face as he observed.
Once he had finished barfing, he quickly turned to greet the new arrival. He hadn’t met him before, but he seemed important based on the way he carried himself. Bril snapped to attention with his arms behind his back, giving Marick a nod, “Sir.”
Marick inclined his head forward politely, seemingly unaffected by the display.
Lapifero shrugged at the Zabrak’s unfortunate reaction an reclaimed his flask and cigara.
He took a swig from the flask and promptly lit the cigara.
“Alright, obviously this thing is a Flux capacitor that runs on Unobtainium crystals to power a planetar satellite. So, clearly moving forward we have to keep it out of the hands of the decepticons and the Hutts.”
The Kushiban wiped his hands together.
“Now can I have the rest of my consultant pay?”
Thane turned then, feeling that everyone who was going to show up had done so. At least he hoped that was the case. It was already getting too…people-y. And loud.
“And disregarded,” he replied to Marick, leaving the affirmation unsaid. Then he continued as if he was saying all that needed to be said. “Dacien asked.”
As the Kushiban continued to demonstrate a remarkable knack for saying so many words yet nothing at all, Thane turned his black-gold eyes toward him and blinked. “No.”
Lapifero slumped back in his chair and took a long drag off the cigara and a deep swig out of the flask.
“FIIIIINE!”
Lasat, she took note of that. She would have commented on it too if Bril hadn’t thrown up the second the Exarch walked into the room. Whatever informality she might have been showing to her friend evaporated as she felt her posture straighten. She brushed a few wrinkles from her robes.
Was it bad that she had hoped that no one else from Arcona would be here? The Chiss woman bowed deeply to Marick, trying to shove her anxiety down deep.
“Just Sivall, sir. Thank you. I-It’s nice to finally meet you in person.”
Marick respectfully bowed his head a bit deeper towards Sivall, and flashed her a faint, small smile that vanished just as soon as it had appeared. It was replaced by a calm, stoic visage. “Likewise, shadesworn.” As he straightened, he kept his voice low so as not to distact the others.
“I understand you ran into Wyndell on your last mission for the Envoy Corps. My condolences.”
“Anyone care to evaluate?” Thane’s lilting accent rang out loud enough to be heard over conversation. “Prior to Kamjin?” He added. And his corrupting touch.
The Justicar stood, tall and still as ever, with his arms crossed over his chest.
Kamjin quickly shut his mouth. The barest peep had escaped as he was already starting to offer his conjure on the subject.
Marick glanced towards the Justiciar. “I could try and dowse it. See if it has any connections to anything else on the planet?”
Marick frowned. No, that wouldn’t work.
Bril turned his head to look at Thane when he spoke and began toward the strange object to have a closer look at it, but he stopped when he noticed the Justicar’s apparel. He looked at his own robes. Then, back at Thane’s. “Okay, I’m sorry, but I can’t begin without getting an answer first,” the young Zabrak began, moving a step closer to the man with the hopes of spotting a logo or tag of some sort. “Who is your tailor? I thought I had fashion sense but you’re putting me to shame. How much was this?
There was no way he could afford such expensive-looking duds on a researcher’s salary. Maybe, he’d have to pick up a few extra shockboxing matches….
Marick narrowed his eyes dangerously, probably the biggest hint of emotion he’d shown so far. The Justicar’s attire seemed almost…intentionally symmetrical. Something had to be….
Found it, the collar.
Marick furrowed his brow but kept quiet otherwise.
Lapifero narrowed his eyes at the young Zabrak.
“Yer tattoos look familiar. What’s yer mum’s name? Did ye ever grow color-changing patches of hair when yer horns started coming in?”
Thane raised an eyebrow, appraising Bril from the head down and back again. Then his thoughts turned to the former Herald and, for a time, Deputy Grand Master, Morgan B. Sorenn.
One of the few friends he maintained amongst the Brotherhood, the founder of the Shroud Syndicate had quite the flair for fashion. For all the jokes he made at the expense of her cape closet, he had taken her advice to heart and had his outfit custom tailored through her connections.
The half-cloak was quite fetch. He was bringing it back.
“Unknown,” he replied regarding the name of the tailor. “Expensive,” Thane finished. No doubt Morgan had pocketed the difference.
“W-wha–I have no idea what you’re on about, little rabbit man,” Bril scoffed, “Watch it or I’ll be having stew for dinner.”
Bril considered his answer for a moment, narrowing his eyes at the man. “A man of few words, huh?” he lifted his shoulders in a shrug, “Alright then, keep your secrets.”
Thane’s eyebrow rose and he allowed himself to smirk. “Calm down, Frodo. Words have value.”
Bril grinned at the reference, “A man of taste, I see. Not many people know about the great A.R.R. Holkien. I’m impressed.”
“All I’m sayin’ is yer mum may have had a different type of stew twenty or so years ago. I did spend some time on Iridonia after all.”
The Kushiban mostly mumbled that part under his breath.
“Aaallllright. Time to crack this open and get paid.”
He hopped up on the table, slicked back his ears, and drew a simple knife as he approached the box.
A smile wormed it’s way onto the Chiss’s exhausted face. She had actually thought Wyndell was pretty cool with the way he saved her. Kind of like one of the superheros someone would see in holovids.
“He was nice. I owe him my life… I might have taught him a new swear by accident.” Her smile turned slightly sheepish.
The Justicar called out, asking if anyone was going to actually approach the box. Feeling a bit nervous she approached it, she stood beside the very strange rabbit.
While the athropormorphic member of the group drew a knife, she looked over the box.
Boxes were meant to be opened… mostly. So there had to be a way to open it somewhere.
Lapifero gently dragged the knife across the surface of the box until he found a seam between panels. When he found it, he stuck the blade in and began trying to pry the panel open.
“Ha! See? Nothing to it!”
After a moment of Lapifero’s efforts, there was a mechanical click. Thane tilted his head and watched. A glow formed, spreading along one of the geometric patterns. Once the line had been fully traced, the compartment opened and a tentacled appendage reached out.
A few blinks were the Justicar’s only reaction.
The appendage coiled inward upon itself. The panelling along it morphed and shifted to form and emitter. A hum accompanied the holo-projection’s activation. Words hung in the air, rapidly flitting between languages until it settled upon an archaic form of aurebesh.
The words were as follows:
How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk?
There was a pregnant pause before the words reformed.
With a Woo-key.
The appendage then quickly uncoiled, having accomplished its specific task, and that panel of the cube closed once more.
Marick pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I mean…” Thane’s brow furrowed before he shrugged. “Not wrong?”
“HA! Gotta say I was worried about the tentacle. Wouldn’t be my first time…or second…or- never mind, ye get the picture. Alright, so it’s a joke box. My first impression was wrong, but with a little work, it looks like it’s been resolved.”
He took a long drag off the cigara and ashed on the floor.
“Now I believe my contract is concluded. I would prefer payment in credit chips rather than wire transfer this time.”
Thane eyed Lapifero again. While his expression didn’t change, he exuded how unimpressed he was with the…man?
“You have discovered a function. Singular.”
Kamjin reached in and grabbed the device. “Alright, so we’ll just,” Kamjin said, running his finger along the device seeking to see if there was a maze or triggers based upon how a child would play with it.
Not noticing any changes Kamjin began to sing an old Alderaanian lullaby while turning the device over and over looking for any reaction.
“Well, that was certainly unusual,” said Bril in response to the artifact producing a tentacle and then … singing? He’d never seen anything like it.
“Here, let me have a loom at.” He took a step forward whole Kamjin handled the device, looking it over for several moments. “Curious…” he muttered to himself before turning to acknowledge the rest of the group, “It’s design doesn’t resemble that of any species or culture I know of. Even stranger is that in some places, the circuitry resembles the patterns commonly found in droids.”
He took his place nearest Sivall, and leaned over to her whilr gesturing toward the strange object. “Take a look?”
Marick didn’t really step forward or move, but he did filter out distraction and focused intently on the box.
With an exertion of his will, a telekinetic hand reached out to the device, finding a seem, tracing it, and then pushed.
His hands remained clasped behind his back.
As if a replay of before, the seams lit up but this time another design and place. Another projector formed from an appendage. Displayed on the screen was the local weather forecast and meteorological data.
Of course, The Thing put some sass on it and denoted that it was presently hotter than a rancor’s armpit on Tatooine.
Marick blinked once, flexed his fingers momentarily before curling them back.
“Huh, well that’s convenient and least,” Bril said. Then, his eyes widened at his next thought. “What if this thing is like a bomb or something? Should we really be poking at it like this? I vaguely recall a story of some poor fool he accidentally dosed himself and his entire team with lethal doses of radiation once. Something about a screwdriver, I think…”
“An exothermic reaction isn’t hard to contain if you’re ready for it,” Marick commented idly.
“Chemical on the other hand…” he mused.
Thane’s head tilted once more and his eyebrows danced alongside his wandering thoughts. “Certainly droid-like,” he remarked. Unfortunate. I do not much care for droids.
Visions of C-D4WG came to mind, leading to a cautionary glance towards Marick.
Marick met the glance. “Droid-like, indeed. Surprised you shared it with us in one piece,” he said calmly.
The Justicar shrugged. He hadn’t known it was a droid.
Marick remained still as stone, but the faint edges of his eyes narrowed at the Justicar’s seeming indifference.
“Umm…are you two having a conversation the rest of us should be in on?” Kamjin asked, picking up on his former boss’s telltale nonverbal communication habits.
“No, what ever gave you that impression,” Marick replied tonelessly.
“Well you were doing the eye thing and Thane with the little,” Kamjin moved his shoulders in imitation of Thane’s tell-tale shrug, “you know…that,” Kamjin said.
Thane made eyes at Marick once again, their usual silent conversation. Then he turned to Kamjin. “Have you had a sanity check recently?”
“Of course, remember you made it standard procedure to have a recurring one. Though, I can’t recall anyone else doing it,” Kamjin said.
Siv’s hand was reaching for the cube just as Bril mentioned that it could be a bomb. She hesitated for a second, thinking about her next action. He was right, it very well could be. All the same, the Chiss woman took her chances and felt around the cube till she felt a seam and then pressed against the cube.
She thought, momentarily, that maybe this cube was just some advanced form of PDA device.
With what has become routine for the collected group, The Thing began its glow and a new pattern formed. This time, several appendages revealed themselves and the cube rose to a standing position. Then it produced a speaker upon its…head?
A synthetic voice began to sing out, starting in an unrecognizable dialect before settling into an almost carnival tone.
“`[Verse 1] Welcome to the Star Wars, We’ve got Jedi and Sith, Here’s some lightsabers, May the Force be with you, kid.
Here’s a planet full of Wookiees, And Ewoks in the trees, Oh, look, there’s Jar Jar Binks, Bringing everyone to their knees.
[Pre-Chorus] It’s a galaxy far away, Where good battles evil every day, And if you’re feeling lost, Just remember, the Force will guide the way.
[Chorus] Welcome to the Star Wars, We’ve got droids and spaceships, Here’s the Death Star blowing up planets, Don’t mind those Stormtroopers, they can’t hit shit.”`
Suddenly, The Thing was launched against the far wall with a loud and startling crash. It didn’t shatter, but it did retract its appendages and revert to its cube state.
“I do not like it,” the Justicar remarked flatly.
Marick started to hum along against his will. Kirra had played the song on repeat in her rotation on the datapad feed she was allowed to scroll on.
Bril stared in disbelief as the object began to sing, only to shake his head in a futile attempt to forget the song that would surely be stuck in his head for the rest of the day, now.
“I think I’m going to be sick again,” he said with a heavy sigh. Maybe, it’d be better if it was a bomb instead of … whatever it was.
“So this thing reacts based upon what sort of energy we put into it. Let’s try super charging it,” Kamjin said, taking the device and setting on it table. “Stand back,” Kamjin said, though not waiting for people to move.
Reaching deep within himself he stretched out his arms and sent ripples of Force lightning arcing into the device.
The Thing started to shudder, panels opening wildly and tentacle-like appendages flailing. As the surge reached its pinnacle, The Thing formed a humanoid shape and hopped onto the central table once more. Again, it donned the same vocabulator it had used before.
“Have you heard about the new diet? It’s called the Jabba the Hut Plan. Step 1: Sit on your couch and never move. Step 2: Have a servant feed you slimy creatures and pizza rolls. Step 3: Develop an iconic laugh. It’s the diet plan for all the couch potatoes out there.”
Without waiting for an answer, it synthesized its own laugh track. Then it continued.
“I recently went on a date with a Stormtrooper. Let me tell you, it was the most awkward experience ever. I couldn’t see his face, he couldn’t hit the mark, and every time we went out, we’d get chased by rebels. It was like dating a walking disaster zone.”
Finally, the laughs turned to a sad trombone and The Thing reverted to a cube.
“Well, that was interesting. I’m convinced now it only exists to mock whoever tries to use it and increases the mocking proportionally to the amount of effort put into it,” Kamjin said dismissingly.
Sivall took a cue from her fellow, superior clan mate and took a few healthy steps back from the cube. It had seemed harmless so far, but the bizarre behavior? Unsettling. She would let the others mess with it for now.
“It’s like it was made to taunt us…” She grumbled, crossing her arms.
Bril took a step forward, patting Sivall on the shoulder as he passed. “Well, if it was made to taunt us, then let’s see how it’ll respond to us taunting it.”
He put his hand on his knees and leaned forward to look at the box, taking a deep breath while. “You want to be a karaoke machine so bad. I’ve seen b1 droids with more complex circuitry than you. And what’s with those tentacles? Was your mother a squid? You’re probably the most uninspired piece of machinery I’ve ever seen!”
The Thing lit up, returning to it’s “mobile” form. Several appendages worked to allow the device to ‘walk’ over to Bril. It offered a tentacle, curling it like a hand waiting to shake in greeting.
Naturally, should Bril take its ‘hand’, he would receive a static shock.
And of course, he did just that. “See, guys? Turns out you just have to make it feel bad about itself, then it’ll respect yo–OWW.”
He snatched his hand away after it shocked him, and frowned. “I hate it.”
The Thing chortled through its vocoder, a series of shrill beeps and chirps. It took the opportunity to try and reach down to tie Bril’s laces together…except he didn’t have laces. A downward trailing tone denoted disappointment before it returned to its perch and cube form.
Lapifero slipped his cigara in his mouth and hopped on the table once more.
“I gotta take a wicked whiz, and I’m curious what the box will do. Two birds, one rock.”
He sidled up to the box and unzipped his trousers.
“Could, uh…everyone look away. I’m a bit shy.”
“I’m not touching it again until someone cleans it up. Properly,” Kamjin said, turning his back on the desecration.
Marick blinked three times, but remained quiet.
Sivall immediately looked away from the bunny, closing her eyes as an indigo flush appeared on her face.
Why here of all places!? Why was this an idea at all!
Kamjin turned to Marick. “We probably should stop this and set a better example,” he said.
Marick seemed to run through some calculations in his mind, factoring in the technical and political ramifications of him taking any action against the Kushiban. The dossier had flagged them as associating with Arcona, but the Elder Arconae and former Shadow Lord was not formally on the Summit, so the member was, in theory not under his disciplinary umbrella.
“Let us not,” Marick’s voice projected calmly. There was no hint of threat, but it was delivered with an air of unwavering curtness.
“There are other means to test the devices reaction to liquids.”
Kamjin stared at Marick. “Look, whatever you want to do with that thing is your business. Just clean it before you hand it back to the rest of us.”
The corner of Marick’s eyes narrowed faintly, but his face remained a muted mask otherwise. He carefully pulled out a canteen of water he kept on his person. “You could just use this. It’s water,” he explained.
“Or, we could see if the device is able to pair in some way to our datapads. Slicing is not my forte, but would anyone else have a means?”
He frowned, realizing he was not able to do much. This was very much something for Zig. She should be here, but he had a feeling by the time she got here, the Justicar would have moved on to more pressing matters. At least Marick hoped he would.
Kamjin, taking a page from Marick and Thane just ‘hmpfed’. This sort of seat of the pants analysis was either going to break the device or leave them so disgusted with each other that all respect would be left eroded.
Though, Kamjin was impressed with how long the small creature was still going at it with the device.
As the Kushiban finished up what had easily been the least comfortable span of time of his morning (for a variety of reasons. Force help him he needed to remember to hit up the free clinic after this. Relieving himself really shouldn’t burn like that), he tucked everything away, zipped up, and gave the box a little tap with his foot.
“Whaddaya think of that, box? got anything clever for that?”
Kamjin really hoped it didn’t have anything clever to say.
To the best of his ability, Marick tried to move his body between the ‘scene’ and Sivall, hoping he could partially at least shield her line of sight.
The Hapan furrowed his brow and this time actually extended one hand. He reached out with the Force and lifted the Kushiban up into the air, and then carefully moved them towards the far corner of the room and deposited them into it. “Figure it out,” he murmred, then turned his attention back to the device.
Marick then tried a basic trick he had come to learn with pairing electronics. He pressed and held the button on his datapad for a count of five, then toggled the pairing mode.
He found one of the edges on the…now liquid splashed device and pushed, and waited to see if his datapad would syncronize with it.
The Lapifero did not enjoy being picked up. Particularly not by some invisible force. But he chose to speak very calmly, but a vibrating fury filled every fiber of his being.
“This is humiliating. And when I find out who is behind this, I am going to break into your home and leave surprises in all of your left shoes ”
“Please explain to me how this is more humiliating than the bold face affront you did to this artifact?” Kamjin demanded, regarding the fierceness of his voice as he swore he could taste the ammonia floating in the air.
The infinite spinning wheel of loading was the dread of any end-user. Thankfully, this one wasn’t so unending. A happy beep denoted a successful pair and The Thing came to life once more.
“Thank you for activating your Cubotroid. Please wait while our patented advanced personality matrix syncs to better suit your needs.”
The Cubotroid presented a holographic shape that morphed between geometries as it bounced the hologram between its appendages. Clearly some loading screen of its own.
Marick regarded the two but then focused back on the…Cubotroid. He glanced over to Ventus. “Since it is a droid, I suggest we take measures to…protect it from the Justicar.”
“What do you have in mind?” Kamjin asked.
Thane frowned.
“Perhaps it would be safest in the hands of the Headmistress?” he suggested calmly as he observed and waited.
He maintained the memory of C-D4WG, dismantled, in a scrap pile, in a forgotten corner of the Combat Master’s office.
“I’ll take it back to her once it’s been cleaned,” Kamjin offered.
Now shuffled behind Marick, Siv fiddled with her sleeves, picking at the edges of the fabric. Was this over with now?
“Personality matrix? … Does that mean this droid has been acting weird because it’s previous owner was just this weird?”
“Thane, who was the previous owner?” Kamjin asked.
“Unknown,” the Justicar answered flatly. “It was found buried.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me. Assuming the previous owner also created it, then you’d need quite the unusual character to make something like this,” he said to Sivall, before directing his attention to the Justicar.
“And where was it buried, exactly?”
Marick followed the Zabrak’s question to Thane, curious as well.
“Was anything else found with it?”
“Did not ask,” Thane replied, being uncharacteristically unhelpful. “Did not care.”
Bril shook his head, clearly dissatisfied with Thane’s answer. He touched a hand to his lip while pondering what to do next. Once an idea came to mind, he snapped his fingers while fixing his gaze on Marick. “Maybe you can use your datapad connection to get it to check if it has a log of the different datapads that have connected to it before?”
The Justicar sighed. He was quickly losing interest in the Cubotroid. If it had been an artifact of some kind, then he might find something of use. An odd droid? He didn’t have the desire to rip into its memory banks.
Droids were the worst.
“It may yet contain information of value,” he remarked. Thane gestured vaguely for someone else to take over.
He also made a mental note to ensure the Rabbit was blacklisted.
Kamjin rubbed the stubble on his chin as he pondered the device. All the things that had been happening seemed random but it felt to consistently random to be truly random.
He thought back on the various transformations and messages that had occurred. “There’s something…” Kamjin thought out loud as he ruffled his usually neat hair.
Then it struck him. “Thane, with each cycle the transformations are becoming more complex and with less mutations. Whatever is happening with it it’s getting close to finishing it,” Kamjin said, staring at the device. “We need to decide now if we’re going to let it finish whatever it’s doing or destroy it.”
“Well, obviously it’s learning and becoming sentient. We need to teach it love so that it doesn’t turn on all of us.”
The Kushiban slipped away from his corner to approach the box again
Kamjin stared at the Kushiban like he was looking at someone speaking a dead language. “Love?” he said, his eyebrows arching.
“Love of golden showers?” Thane mused, letting the intrusive thoughts be said.
“After what one of us did it I don’t think it’s going to have a very ‘loving’ attitude,” Kamjin retorted as his former boss made his lewd comment.
Kamjin nodded his head in Thane’s direction in agreement.
“I think I have a strong connection with it now. Just let me try something.”
He scrambled up onto the table once again.
“Heeyyy buddy. How we doing? I’m sorry about the whole…thing a few minutes ago. I really had no idea that you’d be a sentient entity.”
He put his hand on the box and gently patted it, rubbing circles like one would do on the back of a sick friend.
“By the way, I really hope your malware is up to date.”
Bril buried his face in his palm, wishing that this conversation would end already. “Can we please stop talking about urination and focus on what’s important, here?” he implored them before turning his attention to the artifact.
“We shouldn’t destroy it. Who knows how valuable this could prove to be? If it turns out to be hostile, I think this group is more than capable of handling it.”
Kamjin suppressed the urge to vomit given the creature was petting what had to be a still damp device with its urine.
Marick tapped a few buttons.
Marick blinked once. He took two steps to the left, in the direction of the Justicar. He lifted his hand up over one shoulder, as if holding a torch.
Thane glanced at Marick with a quizzical expression. Did the Exarch finally lose it?
The Cubotroid projected a holographic deadpan face with glasses. It blinked once.
Siv, now freed from the exhibitionist bunny, took out her own datapad and quickly went to work trying to splice into the droid’s database. Hopefully they would find details there about who previously owned the droid and where it had been.
She could also ask, but was unsure if the droid would know or even answer.
Hopefully she didn’t damage it.
The Cubotroid flinched, as if in pain, when Siv broke through its matrix. Suddenly, data began streaming into the datapad before it began to overload. The droid walked over and swat the device to the ground, glowering at Siv before brushing off some of the mess from its surface in her general direction.
The Chiss flinched, then frowned. She carefully picked up the datapad and backed out of the droids system.
“Fair enough little guy, I’m sorry.” She mumbled, then looked to see if her datapad (and any if the data) survived.
Bril blinked a few times when the Cubotroid swatted away the datapad out of her hands. He leaned over to her and gave her a gentle nudge with his elbow, “I have an extra one, if you need it. Just don’t break this one because it has all my holofilms on it.”
Meanwhile, Kamjin had found a comm unit and was requesting some cleaning supplies be delivered. Perhaps if they cleaned it it’s attitude would improve.
A few minutes later a non-descript custodial agent arrived with a wash rag and non-abrasive cleaner. Kamjin applied a dab of the solvent on the rag. “Here, let’s clean you up,” Kamjin said as he took the rag and gently cleaned the droid.
“There you go. That’s got to be better.”
Lapifero mumbled under his breath.
“Gonna need something a lot stronger than that boyo.”
Thane sighed. He wondered idly if Lapifero was so full of disease that he had effective immunity from it all due to oversaturation. Like a walking apothecary’s cabinet.
“So,” Kamjin said, standing up and tossing the soiled rag away, “Do you have anything to say now that you’re cleaned up?”
The Cubotroid’s holo-face blinked twice.
“Anything?” Kamjin prodded.
“I worry for your clan,” Thane commented.
“Quiet. I think I’m getting somewhere,” Kamjin hushed the Justicar.
“I think you’ll have a better chance of finding a needle in a bantha pit,” Bril said while crossing his arms.
Marick nodded approvingly at the droids mannerisms.
Thane sighed. “I have lost interest. This is Archenksova’s problem now.”
Bril shook his head and looked to Sivall. “It seems like my skills aren’t up to the task. It’ll probably require more thorough examination by people more qualified than us for a lot longer than we have. Maybe they can crack this weird thing’s code.”
Siv nodded, wincing and tracing the cracks in her datapad’s screen. “Agreed, as much as I don’t want to give up.” She sighed softly and put the datapad away.
“Can I get back to my work now?”
He blinked at Marick. “You work?”
Marick blinked back, his face devoid of any hint of emotion. “Someone has to make the Council look good.”
Thane shrugged and tilted his head as if to say, “fair”.
Marick raised one hand towards Atra, pinched his forefinger and thumb together while the three other fingers splayed out like a fan. He nodded to the gathered group, furrowed his brow at the Kushiban, made a few mental notes, and exited to return to Arx Minor to handle Exarch business.
“So, if I trade the rest of my contract, can I keep it?”
“No.”
Kamjin had a nasty suspicion that when Thane said it was gonna be Arch’s problem that he would end up having to deal with it. He wasn’t confident he has gotten all the urine off it and he didn’t want to touch it again.